1. I once had a pet spider named Cowboy Otis. He lived in a salsa jar and he ate a moth every Friday. I took him everywhere: to work, to restaurants, to the movies, and anywhere else. He sat in the passenger side of my car when we went places. His favorite band was Nine Inch Nails.
2. I’m a Highlander geek. There can be only one!
3. Unless I’m drinking it or showering in it, I hate water. I do not take baths, I do not go swimming or sit in hot tubs. I detest being out in the rain and the ocean scares the shit out of me.
4. I went to a BBQ this summer that ended when a neighbor began hurling his own feces at the partygoers.
5. I’m a stalker magnet.
6. I survived an attempted murder.
7. If I had a party and all of the guests were fictional characters, the guest list would include: Duncan MacLeod, Connor MacLeod, Orry Main, Xena, Quinn Mallory, Billy Pilgrim, Morpheus, Michael Scofield, Sal Paradise, Tyler Durden, Pinhead, Edward Scissorhands, and Tony Soprano.
8. I got kicked out of AA.
9. Some people think I’m a witch. I have never on any occasion either confirmed or denied this.
10. I once ate part of a Nerf football topped with Taco Bell hot sauce. I chased it with a Mountain Dew.