1 – ALL FRENCH PEOPLE HAVE POODLES
Most French people are quite fond of dogs. However, you are not going to see a bunch of high-heeled women running around with poodles everywhere you look.
Surprisingly enough, there are several breeds of dog in France. I know – it’s weird.
What is true is that there are many dog owners in Paris. While you are out & about in the city, you will see dogs everywhere…a few larger breeds, but mostly smaller ones because the majority of these pooches are living in apartments.
It’s not unusual to see a dog at its master’s feet in a restaurant or a shop, or trailing behind the master on the street without a leash. Maybe dogs just have more rights here as opposed to American dogs.
Obviously, when you’re walking in the streets, you need to watch your step.
2 – FRENCH PEOPLE DON’T USE ASSWIPE – ONLY BIDETS (ASS FOUNTAINS)
Wow. That would be damn cool if this were true. But, I’ve only seen one ass fountain in France. It was 9 years ago at a hotel & I tell you – I had hours of fun.
French people do use asswipe. The strange thing is, it’s often pink. There seems to be a mysterious trend involving pink toilet paper. I’ve been trying to understand this for the past year & a half…I’ve made inquiries as to why people like the pink paper & no one can explain it to me.
If you are disappointed by the lack of ass fountains in France, take heart – the shower heads can usually be removed from the wall.
Be creative.
3 – FRENCH PEOPLE LIKE TO BURN CARS
Really…who wouldn’t like to burn a car just once?
We all know that this happened. But, come on…it’s not as though a bunch of adult people just decide to burn cars as a hobby. These were a bunch of pissed of kids.
Pissed off kids don’t always use their heads – that’s common knowledge & not the big deal that the American media makes it out to be.
Big surprise there, I know.
The bottom line is this: the shit about the car burnings is now so old & fucking boring…move on.
4 – FRENCH PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ON STRIKE
It’s true that there are frequently workers on strike in France. The part about this that is the most amusing is that sometimes, while “on strike”, they still make it in to work.
One day, a few months ago, my husband went to the post office to buy some stamps. The woman behind the counter replied that she couldn’t sell him any stamps because she was on strike.
So, in some cases, workers in France will go on strike for the usual reasons that one would cease working.
In other cases, it’s simply because the bitch was too much of a sloth to peel ass cheek from chair to get some fucking stamps.
5 – FRENCH PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR
This is just absurd. If there were any truth to this at all, I never would have been able to last one day here, much less live here.
Granted, sometimes the humor from one culture to the next is just not the same – I’ve tried watching a few French comedy movies that I’ve been told are “classic” – but just can’t laugh. I don’t seem to be getting the joke.
There’s no shortage of comedians in France & what’s really cool is to hear a Frenchman quoting Seinfeld or Monty Python. They seem to get our jokes better than I get theirs.
Moreover, my French husband reads the shit that I write everyday & hasn’t filed for divorce – that must be proof of…well, something.
Ugh…finally – the 4th & final piece of this. Eventually, I’ll let you all know what these guys think of us crazy Yanks.