During the past year & a half that I have been living in Paris, I’ve naturally eaten at several French restaurants. The French love food & are (rightfully so) very proud of the food here.
It often seems that there is a restaurant on every street. There are places with names such as: Taillevent, Le Dôme, L’Epi Dupin, La Charcuterie & La Tour d’Argent.
All of those fancy-sounding French names are typical…but what wasn’t so typical & the name that came as the biggest surprise to me was: Flunch.
Fucking FLUNCH?
How does this sound at all appetizing? Obviously, whomever the mental giant was that came up with this one needs to be punched in the brain. It seems quite apparent to me that there are much more suitable uses for a word such as “flunch”.
“Damn…I just stepped in flunch.”
“Stop flunching my leg.”
“Some sick bastard just flunched all over the bathroom floor.”
I’ve decided to work this word into my vernacular. While words such as “smurf” & “fuck” can be inserted just about anywhere in any sentence, the same holds true for flunch.
The only case that I have found in which “flunch” is not suitable would of course be anything involving food or restaurants. That is just fucking moronic.
Think about it…
“So…you hungry? You wanna go get some food?”
“Sure. What did you have in mind?”
“I’m thinking flunch – flunch sounds good. I’ve had a craving for flunch all day.”
Nah…that just doesn’t work.
Naturally, there’s a mascot for this place…Flunchy the Bear. Though, I think he looks more like a fucking cat. Either way, I don’t trust the fucker not to flunch me while my back is turned.
