“I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year.” ~E.M. Forster
It’s finally over. The shopping, the wrapping, the unwrapping…the over the river & through the woods. Ugh. Finally. Over. It’s not that I don’t like Christmas…it’s just that Christmas, like a great many things, annoys the living shit out of me.
It’s a time of year that is filled with stress like no other. Deadlines, travel plans, added expenses & the relatives that we’ve managed to avoid since last year. But the greatest annoyance of all is that greed is more apparent during the holidays than at any other time of year. At a time of year when many of us would like to be reminded of the beauty of the human spirit, I generally end up disgusted with it.
People forget what’s important about getting together for the holidays. It’s not about the giving or the receiving of gifts. It’s not about spending time with your family or dwelling on whatever religious holiday story has been told to you all of your life. It isn’t about the parades, parties or presents at all.
It’s about the fucking food.
So, that puts the score at: New Year’s Eve – 1, Christmas – 0.
Olivier & I take New Year’s Eve seriously. When it comes to the food & drink, maybe a little too seriously. But, it’s actually a big deal for us – I made the move to France on New Year’s Eve 3 years ago. I arrived on a plane at 11am & by midnight, the champagne was opened, Olivier found himself on one knee & I got a fancy new ring.
It was a pretty busy day, now that I think about it.
So, now New Year’s Eve is a time for us to stuff ourselves like fat bastards.
After we polished off a big bowl of guacamole & a bag of tortilla chips, we dove head first into some Brie fondue. Olivier started poking around in the gooey fromage while shouting some gibberish about “putting down the camera”.
Cheese & guacamole require some time to digest, especially when consumed in absurdly large amounts. The best way to help the digestion process along is with vodka & a comfy couch. I’m sure that you were already aware of this.
We followed all of that up with some shrimp cocktail & some clams. There was also some jackassery involving some twirling, Flogging Molly, Frank Sinatra & a video camera, but that’s another post for another day. Or, uh…maybe not.
No, we weren’t finished. There was still the confit de canard. Yep. Salty duck meat stored in its own fat. Shut up. If you’re disgusted, it’s only because you haven’t tried it.
You can’t convince me that this isn’t delicious.
Somewhere between the confit & the ice cream, I started to experience a series of mini-throw ups accompanied by strange squeaking sounds in my gut. It was obvious that it was time for champagne.
Our gluttony continued on into the next day…& the day after that. We went on until we just couldn’t eat anymore.
But now, our vacation time has come to an end, the holidays are finally over & it’s back to another year of salad & exercise until we do it all over again next year.
Ugh…it’s going to be a lot of salad & exercise.
It was so worth it.
“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” ~P.J. O’Rourke
“New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” ~Mark Twain
[tags]Christmas, holidays, New Year, New Year’s Eve, food, confit de canard, drink, shrimp, clams, fondue, France, greed, gluttony, Flogging Molly, Sinatra, guacamole, vodka[/tags]
“I started to experience a series of mini-throw ups accompanied by strange squeaking sounds in my gut. It was obvious that it was time for champagne.” I fail to understand how you came to this conclusion but was entertained by the fact that you did. the confit sounds great but I will no doubt be trying it alone.