American expat bloggers… well, yeah – it’s true that with my little blue passport, WordPress account & carte de séjour, I meet all of the criteria. But, just wait… hold back your fist-pumping, cries of “hypocrite!” for just a moment. I might get around to making a point… eventually.
Before I moved to France, I spent a great deal of time scouring the internet for information on the place that was to be my new home. It was a big move, going from Loveland, Colorado to Paris, France. I was planning to get married to a French man soon after my arrival – I was nervous, excited, stressed-out & elated. I was doing this alone, with only my faithful feline sidekick.
Even though I had already been to France a couple of times already, I wanted to find as much information as I could, so that I could get a clearer picture of what in the hell I was getting myself into.
Some of what I found was useful information that provided facts about France. Most of what I found however, was shit.
– “An American woman can spend a fortune on a new dress & expensive jewelry & look ordinary. A Parisienne looks terrific & interesting in a simple black dress.”
Translation: You will look like shit simply because you’re a goddamn Yank, no matter how hard you try.
– “Parisians get & stay so thin because they smoke a lot and eat next to nothing.”
I call bullshit. This is just fucking retarded. Parisians DO eat – likely not as much as the average American sitting in front of a giant platter of Chili’s baby back ribs, but Paris isn’t a city of anorexics. The fact is, Parisians are walking all over the place. Cars aren’t practical in Paris & while there are many drivers, most people walk more than the average SUV-driving American.
Oh, & the smoking thing? I’m gonna toss bullshit on that one, too. The cliché of the Parisian smoking at a sidewalk café in front of a glass of absinthe is, I admit, an appealing one. However, less than half of the people here are smokers & approximately 70% of the population in France supported the smoking ban that went into place last year.
See, they exercise portion control better than most of us do & they regularly move around more. This starving & smoking theory is cliché & asinine. Besides, the walking & smaller portions better corroborates the low number of heart-disease related deaths in France, compared to the smoking starvation diet.
– “In France, adultery is a national pastime.”
You tell me – is this something that a smart person would say? There is no evidence that infidelity is more rampant in France than in the U.S. – it’s just that they handle it differently.
I’ve seen blog posts discussing “the look”, referring to “long, lingering glances” with strangers & that this is acceptable among everyone in France. I don’t know what this is all about – I don’t give strangers fuck-me eyes on the métro & if I ever caught my husband doing it, there would likely be a great deal of pain inflicted.
I’m sure at this point, I don’t need to provide any more examples.
As you might imagine, reading all of this “information” as I was packing my life away into bags & boxes to make my move to France was not helpful.
It was not informative. It was not interesting. It was insulting.
Not to mention that it was very off-putting. What I read was that I would be moving to a country where I would be slovenly, starving & obligated to chain-smoke, which would only lead to my French husband cheating on me.
Huh?
This kind of blog writing about Paris and France only insults the French by perpetuating ugly stereotypes & insults everyone else by feeding them bullshit, which I’ve never really had a taste for.
I’ve come across more since I’ve been living here & I’m sure will continue to find more bits ‘o’ bullshit out there in the blogosphere.
Since I’ve been living here, I’ve discovered that I am never, EVER to wear sneakers or jeans. I am never to wear my hair in a ponytail, as the bloggers say that only Americans do this & that I should wear my hair in a messy ‘do, with several clips in it, so that I look as though I’ve just gotten out of bed.
Bedhead, but with style… & countless bits of plastic shit stuck in your hair.
I am never to wear t-shirts, carry a backpack or chew gum. I must always wear a scarf around my neck, which must be tied a certain way. I must wear a lot of make up that creates the illusion of no make up at all.
This all sounds like too much fucking work. How can I enjoy Paris, France, or life at all if I buy into this shit?
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is still a great number of very well-written blogs on France that are out there. Some of them are even written by journalists (remember those?) who are living in France & understand that opinions are not facts. There is plenty of good information out there, among the shit, stereotypes & Americans who see Paris as nothing but clichés & foreign films.
Paris is great, but it is hardly representative of France as a whole. Many Americans visit France as tourists, exchange students, or for work. Unfortunately, many of those people don’t get outside of Paris & maybe only see a portion of the city. They see some rich Parisienne, or young professionals & jump on their blog to tell the folks back home that all French people are like the ones that they observed in the métro this morning.
Imagine someone from outside the U.S. who is visiting L.A. telling everyone back home that all American women look that. Get it?
They want to impress & excite the people back home with exotic tales of fabulous French-ness. There’s really nothing wrong with that, as there is a lot to be impressed with here, as long as it’s realistic.
One day, after reading a random blog post written by an American temporarily residing in France, Olivier & I were talking about this blogger’s claim that all American wives living in France do nothing except lounge around Paris, popping out babies & refuse to learn any French. (To which I say, va te faire foutre.)
Olivier shook his head & laughed. “People like this don’t know us,” he said. “They come to France, they spend a short time in the rich quarter of Paris & think that we are all like this. They don’t see France as it is, only their France – the France that they want to see… & that doesn’t exist.”
I guess that explains why I have seen French people wearing sneakers, ponytails, jeans, & t-shirts while chewing gum & wandering about without a damn scarf.
It’s a pity, because it’s likely what they aren’t seeing that is the most charming.
The point – which I said I would get around to eventually – is that no single expat blogger is an expert on France as a whole, or all of its people. What they are an expert on is their France & their experiences, which may be limited or extensive.
Moving here can be intimidating & isolating, especially in the beginning & I’m sure that many people who come here feel a great deal of pressure to fit in, so they convince themselves that they have to saunter about Paris in high heels & scarves to make that happen.
The truth is, it’s probably more important to learn the customs, etiquette & language of a place as opposed to trying to dress in a way that you normally would not.
The truth is, feeding ridiculous myths & negative stereotypes about a place & what its people are like won’t make the adjustment any easier – for anyone.
But, don’t take my word for it – I’m just another expat with a little blue passport, a WordPress account & a carte de séjour, just like the rest of them.
The only difference is, I’m dressed comfortably & am probably having a good laugh.
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[tags]Paris, France, American, expat, bloggers, blogging, cliché, Humor, Parisienne, ridiculous, smoking, stereotype, style[/tags]
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