About 6 or 7 years ago, before I moved to France, I was back in Colorado, talking to a friend of mine about the pen pals we had when we were in elementary school.
Remember those? Actually writing on paper with a pen, sticking a stamp on it & mailing it to another kid living in some faraway place? Surely you must have done this at some point, no?
Anyway, we were having a laugh about the silly things we would write. He told me that his pen pal lived in England, so he was asking questions like, “Do you drive cars to go places in England, or is different?” or, “Do you go to the grocery store to get food, or is it different?”
We found this all to be hilarious, finding amusement in the things that kids say & the wacky things that kids get curious about because as adults, we of course know better. We’ve seen things & met people from various places… we’ve learned that these questions are ridiculous, thus making them funny.
So I thought.
It was about 4 years ago when I first noticed it. Olivier & I were planning one of our Franco-American Thanksgiving feasts. I was speaking to a friend back in the States about our plans.
“I’ve got the stuffing & cranberry sauce all ready,” I said. “We’ve ordered our turkey from an American market in Paris & will pick it up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.”
“How big is the turkey?” she asked.
“I think it’s around 8 pounds.”
“Why so small?”
“Well, anything bigger than 10 or 11 pounds won’t fit into a European oven,” I explained. “That & these turkeys aren’t fed so much that they can’t walk – they’re normal sized birds.”
“Oh… that’s too bad. How much did it cost?”
“I think around 50 euro.”
“You’re getting ripped off! I got mine at Safeway for $5.00. 22 pounds & it’s a Honeysuckle White.”
“Well, that’s all fine & good,” I said, “but we don’t have Safeway around here. Or a shit-ton of industrial turkeys.”
“Honeysuckle White.”
“Yeah. I got that.”
“FIVE DOLLARS.”
“Uh-huh… you mentioned that.”
“So… can’t you just go to King Soopers?” she asked.
At that moment, in order to maintain my sanity & escape the downward spiral the conversation was headed toward, I had to change the subject to something familiar to the typical American & easier to grasp.
Am I saying that Americans are stupid & unable to grasp any concept outside of their geographic region? No, I’m not saying that, because I honestly don’t believe it to be true. (For many of them, anyway.) What I do believe to be true & what I have seen many, many times is a willful ignorance of places that lie outside of the U.S. border.
Ignorance usually isn’t a big deal, as there are a lot of curious people out there who ask questions if they don’t know or understand. I love these people. We need more people like this. Curiosity is a fine weapon against ignorance. These are usually the people who, as young children, would ask, “So, do people where you live eat hamburgers, or is it different?”
However, that ignorance without a dose of curiosity to balance it out leads to assuming the wrong thing. What I have found is that for several of the Americans I’ve spoken to, it leads to assuming that things in Europe must be like they are in the U.S., other than the fact that people talk funny & probably hate freedom & firearms.
Things in Europe must be like they are in the U.S. If they weren’t, how could anyone survive?
I’d be lying, though, if I tried to deny the fact that my sarcastic, mocking nature just loves this shit.
“Hey, have you seen Avatar yet?” one of my other friends asked me from across the Atlantic.
“No,” I said, “and I don’t intend to. Fuck James Cameron.”
“Oh, you really should check it out. Definitely Netflix it the next time you’re on there.”
I paused for a moment, wondering when we started verbing Netflix. “Um… well, I don’t think it will be any time soon since we don’t have Netflix here.”
“Whattaya mean?”
“I mean we don’t have Netflix in France.”
“So, um… how do you watch movies at home?”
“We don’t watch movies. Usually, we just gather around the fire while the old ones regale us with various historic tales, ’cause you know… this is Europe, so all the history is here.”
“Oh… that’s cool. Too bad you don’t have Netflix, though.”
Yeah… poor us, with no Netflix, Wal-Mart or $5.00 industrial turkeys. Somehow, through much hardship & suffering, we manage to get by. It’s tough, but we do our best to keep on a happy face as we toil through each day.
Then again, I could start asking people back home how they manage to get by without real French bakeries, sidewalk cafés all over the damn place, or a 35-hour work week, but I don’t need to. I already know the answer because I’ve lived without those things & got by just easily as I do now living without all that American stuff.
I could ask people that, but then I remember how everyone thinks what they have is best, no matter if it really is or not & regardless of what anyone has or doesn’t have, we all wonder how anyone could live any other way aside from the way that we know. Because of course, our way is best. Our way is the easiest, smartest & most logical way to live.
I could mention this when someone scoffs at my little 8-pound European turkey, or is baffled by the lack of convenient DVD-rental delivery. I could avoid the mockery & calmly point out that yes, we do drive cars to get around in France, but it’s still different.
I could. But, I don’t. That just isn’t something that my mocking sarcastic nature has as much fun with.
I had several pen-pals when I was a child and a teenager. My parents encouraged it, so I could find out how the other half lives. The other 98% actually. The one I was in touch with longest was a lovely girl in Malaysia, with whom I exchanged correspondence until we were both 19 or 20 — then she got married and broke my heart at 5000 miles distance!
I find when I tell my American friends (except, maybe, the college faculty crowd who are my wife’s colleagues) how things are in the UK and Europe I get a smile, a nod, and a blank look. The manager of our apartment complex recently told me she had been working for the company for a year and was now entitled to one week’s paid vacation a year (yay!). I told her that would be illegal in Europe. Where I come from, 20 days is the legal minimum (i.e. 4 weeks if you include weekends). She expressed interest, nodded, but I don’t think she was able to process the information. If it ever does sink in to the general population how things are elsewhere, if they ever really do understand, there will be massive discontent.
True story: a friend was coming to visit me in England from California several years ago. She went to her bank to buy travelers checks and some British currency. The bank clerk — in San Francisco, not Dead Mule Creek, Oklahoma — was completely unaware of the concept of foreign currency, and thought that the US dollar was the only currency in the world.
I miss those French bakeries with a passion.
Why bother pointing out something to someone who obviously doesn’t see a world outside their own? Now, if they ask about something, that’s totally different. But I wouldn’t waste time trying to explain something to someone when they haven’t asked to be enlightened. Besides, I find that when I want to know something, I don’t have to be told it many times over like I usually do. When I find out, it tends to stick in my brain.
You’ve hit the nail on the head – when I’ve tried to explain those kinds of things, I’ve found that the end result is that they still don’t get it & I’m twice as frustrated. That’s why I decided to just use it as another means of entertaining myself. Sometimes, it’s hard to get out of it, though – it actually happens quite often where people ask questions, but don’t listen to the answers. Then I have no choice but to make fun. Sarcasm is my only option at that point.
I’m always fascinated by how differently people live. That’s even true within the US, but of course it’s more obvious in other parts of the world. It’s fun that we’re so alike but yet so different!