Rasmenia, Author at Rasmenian Detritus – Page 11 of 42

Not Wishing You a Merry Christmas

December 13, 2012November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I am not going to wish you a Merry Christmas. I am not going to wish you Happy Holidays, a Happy New Year, or even Happy Ass Slap from an Expensive Hooker. No matter what we say anymore, someone's out there to complain. So, I won't offer you Xmas cheer, a Happy Hanukkah, Joyeux Noël, Feliz Navidad or a Happy Solstice.I wish you more than this. So much more.When someone says to you: Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Have a nice Tuesday or a bitchin' Saturnalia, I wish you the clear-sightedness to see when another human is saying something just to be kind, affable & cheerful. I wish you enough common decency to choke down your pettiness, smile & respond in your own kind, affable & cheerful way. I hope you'll be reasonable enough to comprehend how one person phrases something shouldn't diminish your joy; that most battles never need to be fought & that being offended is a meaningless thing.I...

The Unintentional Comedy of French Movie Titles

November 20, 2012November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It recently occurred to me that I haven't made fun of any French weirdness in quite a while. I mean, it's been like, 2 whole blog posts ago. It's not that I'd stopped noticing, having grown accustomed & become part of the weirdness. Okay, okay... I may have become a wee part of the weirdness, but that doesn't mean I don't take notice of it.One thing that has been a constantly baffling source of amusement here is the French titles for American movies. This isn't something confounding only to Americans, either. There are plenty of savvy French movie goers who understand the absurdity & hilarity of the French titles, but those bizarre titles keep showing up, anyway.It often seems that there is no rhyme or reason to it. After seeing countless movie posters, TV spots & theater signs, there is no discernible pattern to this madness. Believe me, I've tried to make sense of it. I can't do it.Sometimes, they...

What Is & What Will Be

October 18, 2012November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

“She was a published writer. I imagined how thrilling it must be living such a life, going around the world and making up things about it.” -E. L. Doctorow *** Well, not so thrilling, as it turns out. Interesting, yes. Fun, definitely. Boring... never. Most of the time is spent not zipping around the globe, but here in this corner, in this room, at this desk where I sit now. I scribble in notebooks, make faces at open documents in Word & lean my head on my hand as I read submission guidelines for one literary journal after another until my eyes go all googly. And research... entire days of reading, searching & asking questions. On really good days, I sit curled up in a comfy chair with my iPad while working on a piece of flash fiction. It's really not that thrilling, but it does make me feel glad & complete inside. I don't believe in sitting around waiting for "the muse" & I...

When Forgiveness is Worse Than a Flaming Bag of Poo

October 4, 2012 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"Religion is like a pair of shoes: find one that fits for you, but don't try to make me wear your shoes.” - George Carlin.“Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned--I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.” - Frank Zappa“One's own religion is after all a matter between oneself and one's Maker and no one else's.” - Kahlil Gibran *** This is something I don't enjoy writing about. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth; leaves me feeling dirty, like I need a Silkwood shower & a couple of shots of Jameson to burn it all away. In fact, while I was planning on sitting down today to write a blog post, I had a completely different & unrelated topic in mind. Something a bit lighter. Something less...

Awkward Adventures in the Socialized Healthcare of France

August 30, 2012November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Before I even get started, let me warn you that if you get squeamish when it comes to chatter about doctors poking around in lady bits, then this post will not interest, amuse or inform you in any way. You'll likely be too preoccupied with all of your squeamishing to to focus on reading, so... off you go while the rest of us talk.Like a great many people, I've never cared much for going to the doctor. Any doctor. For anything. I'm not afraid of doctors, but in the past, I usually had to feel as though I were at risk of coughing up my aorta, or maybe shitting out a spleen or several yards of intestines. Even when I had broken bones, I was reluctant. I didn't mind carrying my broken wrist with my good arm if the alternative was sitting in the emergency room. A busted eye socket... well, I didn't even go to the hospital. Luckily, I...

How To Use Social Networking to Poison Your Friendships

July 30, 2012November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

In July of 2005, I went to see Batman Begins at the Holiday Twin drive-in in Fort Collins, CO with a friend of mine. We'd been bouncing around in anticipation for several months waiting for this movie to come out. Leaning forward in the front seat of my Oldsmobile, we shoveled snacks into our faces & geeked out. She was one of my geek girl friends. Getting excited for superhero/fantasy/action movies, standing in line to see them, then jabbering excitedly about them afterward was something that connected us.We weren't on Myspace. We didn't have Facebook. We talked in person, over plates of food & big glasses filled with adult beverages. We chatted at the office where we both worked. It didn't matter much that she was a Conservative, Christian gun owner from Texas, or that I was basically the exact opposite of all those things.Sure, we gave each other shit about it. We made a lot of jokes. We also...