Rasmenia, Author at Rasmenian Detritus – Page 27 of 42

13 Stinky French Cheeses

February 19, 2009November 29, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

As one might expect, moving to France required me to learn a few things. First of all, I've had to learn to speak French - which I don't do all that well. However, I've also had to learn about hundreds of stinky cheeses. My French speaking may need some work, but I do speak "fromage" very well... & let's face it - here in France, that might actually be more important. * * * 1 - Bleu d'Auvergne Bleu d'Auvergne is produced in the Massif Central between Puy-de-Dôme and Cantal. A cheese producer back in 1854 found some mold on his bread & thought to himself, "Hey, I bet this shit would be great if I mixed it with some cheese." Kind of like the chocolate & peanut butter guy, but with mold instead of chocolate & cheese instead of peanut butter.2 - Cantal Cantal is hard to semi-hard cheese from the Cantal region of France. It's one of the oldest cheeses in France...

Annoying Americans, Volume 2 – The Phrase Book is Your Friend

February 17, 2009December 17, 2009 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's really no excuse for it. Yet people do it here in Paris all of the time. I've seen them doing it & I've overheard them in restaurants, shops & cafés. Worst yet - I've been with people when they've done it.American tourists speaking English...assuming that the French person they are speaking to also speaks English.There are really only a couple of reasons why an American would come over to France without taking the time before their trip to learn a few essential phrases: laziness & arrogance.Seriously, it doesn't take much time & it isn't such an extravagant expense to pick up one of these in preparation for a trip to France.Yet, a ridiculous number of people don't fucking bother with it. The book pictured above is less than $10. I purchased the same one a few years ago. It hardly broke the bank. I was still able to afford some Taco Bell & cigarettes later that day.Don't get me...

Speaking American

February 13, 2009November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It took me a bit by surprise, the first time I heard it."You don't speak English."For fuck's sake. What was I thinking? Of all of the things that I have ever pulled out of my ass, the notion that I speak English is among the worst. Sometimes I'm such an audacious shit. Of course I don't speak English. I must be speaking...hell, I have no idea. What language is it that I speak, then?"You speak American."Oh...right. American.I had to move to France to learn this, that I speak American. Evidently, anyone who originates from the Unites States is not an English speaker. We are all American speakers.At least, this is what some of the French have told me.I have no proof, but I'm assuming this means that the Canadians are speaking "Canadian" rather than French or English & that the Brazilians are speaking "Brazilian" rather than Portuguese.To be fair, there are plenty of U.S. citizens who think that they are...

13 More Warrior Women

February 5, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Ok...I've done a list like this one before. However, there's a significant difference this time - these women aren't fictional characters. These women are actual historical figures & didn't have any stunt doubles.1. Queen Tomyris of the Massagetae - Massagetae, now eastern Iran - c.550 B.C. When the Persian emperor Cyrus the Great attempted to invade the Iranic Massagetae of Central Asia, his army was beaten & forced to retreat. Cyrus' boys then persuaded him to trick the enemy into getting drunk on wine because they were hash smokers & likely to be lightweights when it came to booze. It worked - while the opposing army was shitfaced, the Persians came in & slaughtered them. Tomyris' son was at the head of the drunken army. When he sobered up, he killed himself. When Tomyris got the news, she sent a message to Cyrus telling him what a rat bastard he was & called him out to another fight. Another battle ensued,...

Annoying Americans, Volume 1 – Blending In

February 2, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's a strange phenomenon that occurs after living in France even for a very short time. It's a little odd, but it does happen.It doesn't take very long, but eventually, you can forget how to speak English.Now, don't get the wrong idea. Maybe what you're thinking is, "Wow...being immersed in the French language can actually push English right out of your brain?"Of course that isn't what I mean. Don't be asinine. Besides, what kind of dolt forgets their native language like that?Here's an example:One not so very interesting day, I decided to take my camera & go for a stroll through the Montmartre Cemetery. I'm all alone & searching for the grave of Degas. I'm having no luck, so I head back to entrance so that I can take a gander at the map.That's when I saw them. The four of them were wearing matching T-shirts that read "Paris", all spelled out in glitter. They were wearing their matching backpacks,...

Ketchup, Indiana & Buffalo – Hold the Eggs

January 16, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die." -Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'"Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish." -Henry Miller...It's strange the everyday things you find yourself wanting when they stop being everyday things. For the past 3 years, I've found myself wanting every single day.Cool Ranch flavor Doritos. Arby's Beef & Cheddar. Sour cream. New York style cheesecake. Welch's grape jelly that tastes like purple.You know, American food.Olivier is frequently on the look out for American grocery stores & restaurants in a never-ending effort to keep me & my food cravings under control.One of the first "American" restaurants I had tried in Paris was the Indiana Café, which claims to be a Tex-Mex restaurant.Of course,...