It’s a Urination Miracle!

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I've thought about training our cat to use the toilet instead of a litter box. But she's 13 years old...it seems a little late to be teaching that cat new tricks. This is just further evidence that I don't know anything.Our bathroom & kitchen are being repaired. Everything from the kitchen is in the living room & our bedroom...everything from our bathroom is crammed into the bedroom as well.I can make a peanut butter sammich & give myself a facial without having to leave my bedroom.This has been a bit of an inconvenience for Cat, too. Her food dish & litter box have been relocated to the living room. The litter box has a little door on it that we never use - we removed it last year upon recognizing that this displeased Cat & being the humble & obedient subjects that we are, the door was removed & never seen again.Until this week. ...
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The Hair of the Cat Make the Eyes Red

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Sometimes, learning a foreign language can be so easy that it just makes things more difficult.When Olivier & I had a couple of house guests here last week, I had the opportunity to play the part of translator & tour guide. This is a role that is usually filled by Olivier, but since he was at work during the day, I was left with taking the reigns. Not only was this ridiculous, but really, quite amusing.But it gave me an opportunity to practice my French out in the real world, rather than just practicing on Olivier at home during conversations about monkeys in jumpsuits & what to have for dinner.Imagine my delight when I had to enter a pharmacy to request allergy medicine for my American friend Ryan because of the fact that my cat was slowly destroying his sinuses & eyeballs. Of course, there was only one small problem: I didn't know the French word for...
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I Have Friends!

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One thing that happens when you move far, far away to a foreign country is that unfortunately, you are not going to have regular contact with friends & family.Well, at least not at the frequency that may have existed before. It's a lot of work, writing emails & letters, making phone calls...ok, so I'm not so good at making phone calls.But the good news is, once in a while, people will hop on a plane to come see you & visit the place that has become your new home.Later today, Olivier & I will be meeting my friends from Colorado, Ryan & Kyle, at Gare du Nord here in Paris. It will be their first trip to France, so we've made the necessary preparations to give them a fine lesson in French culture.The refrigerator has been stocked with a variety of stinky cheese. Sure, it smells a bit like feet when we open the door, but that's...
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Revelling & Rejoicing in Rejection

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Yeah, I have enough arrogance to refer to myself as a writer. A hack writer, to be sure, but a writer nonetheless.To me, a writer is someone who writes. Who needs to write. However, a published writer is something else. The main difference between being a writer & a published writer is really based on one thing: persistence.Of course, to be a published writer, one must actually attempt to have something published.I wrote...I edited...then I wrote again. And again. Eventually, I managed to grow a pair & send off a couple of short story submissions to a magazine in an attempt to elevate my rank from "hack writer" to "published writer".As to be expected, within a matter of days, I received my first rejection! Imagine my delight when I opened my mail to find "Thank you for your short story submissions to Underground Voices. Regretfully, we have to pass, but all...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 5

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 3Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 41. Bottleneck the escalator. Whenever you happen to find yourself at a busy place with an escalator, be sure to hop on. Once you've reached the end of the escalator ride, step off, and then just stand there.Other passengers of the escalator will enjoy the challenge of trying to get around you or smacking into you as they attempt to jump off of the moving steps.You can also do this at any stairwell, but let's face it. It isn't as much fun without the threat of being sucked under at the escalator.This seems to be one of the most popular activities in all of Paris. No matter where you go, some fun-loving dipshit is always standing at the top or bottom of a very crowded stairwell or escalator.2. Make a kamikaze exit....
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13 Transitions From Loveland, Colorado to Paris, France

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Moving from a small town in Colorado to Paris wasn’t easy. Ok, well the moving part wasn’t really all that difficult. But after arriving in France, there have been some things that I’ve had to learn to get used to…1. The French language. Learning a 2nd language comes easily to young children, but to an adult over 30, it takes a little more effort. Trying to read, write, speak & understand a language that is more complex than English takes a lot of time…& patience.2. Public transportation. The burden of owning a car is gone, along with the expenses caused by the need for insurance, gas & maintenance. However, so is the freedom of being able to just go for a drive for the fun of it, or the independence that comes with owning your own transportation.3. No dishwasher. An apartment in Paris is...
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