Rasmenia, Author at Rasmenian Detritus – Page 4 of 42

The Inadequate Language of Expats and Immigrants

April 1, 2019November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

The difference between an immigrant and an expat is significant. What makes a person one or the other is determined by their reasons for leaving their home country, and what they intend to do once they arrive in the new one. An immigrant has no plan to return home. He or she is not changing residence to achieve a career or educational goal. They're not chasing the novelty of a new experience. Integration into the new culture is necessary for survival. An expat is temporary. They travel to another country for whatever reason, and integrating into a new culture isn't as crucial, because one day, they'll go home again. If one is an expatriate, there's a suggestion of luxury and decadence.The difference is significant when we're talking about words. When we talk about the people, things are more complicated. Humans don't fit into neat little boxes and definitions. The British couple retiring to the apartment they recently purchased in Paris are expats. The...

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

December 14, 2018November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

On a scorching July morning in a Colorado that existed before cell phones, streaming, and apps, my friend Michelle and I slathered oil on ourselves and sprawled out on a couple of rickety aluminum lawn chairs in my tiny, unkempt backyard. This was also a time before we became concerned about sun damage, melanoma, and our mortality.My little boombox sat in the shade on the square of concrete that was almost a patio. The spinning gears in the tape deck cranked out The Doors on cassette.Michelle picked up the bong that sat between us, took a hit, and handed it to me. She giggled and said, "Dude. Check us out. We look like a couple of greasy goons."I lifted my head and scanned my skinny white legs, shimmering with fine blond hairs and grease, like a scrawny chicken ready for the oven. The oil covered my face, my hair pulled up tight in a clumsy knot. I took the bong...

Living Abroad Makes You Talk Funny

November 16, 2018November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's a scene in Highlander where our hero, the immortal Connor MacLeod, gets hauled in by the New York City popo for engaging in some swordfight and beheading shenanigans in a parking lot during a wrestling match. During the questioning, a cop tells him he talks funny, and asks where he's from. Without hesitation, 450 year-old MacLeod answers, "Lots of different places."He talks funny because he's a French actor portraying a 16th century Scottish man. If you suspend your disbelief and allow yourself to have fun, he speaks this way because he's been wandering the globe for more than 400 years and it's distorted his accent into something that can't be identified.I wanted that. The first few months I spent living abroad, I was certain that it was only a matter of time before my American accent softened. That after years of being immersed in a sea of French language, my English would become smoother at the edges where the...

Self-Promotion vs. Self-Sabotage: The Weird Balancing Act of Being a Writer With Anxiety

July 23, 2018December 2, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Here's a scenario I've lived through more than once and will likely experience again one day: I'm having dinner with a small group of people, chiming in only occasionally because I prefer to focus on my food and listen to everyone else. Without warning, someone says my name and proceeds to ask me questions about writing. Have I been writing? What have I been writing? Tell us about it what's it about and when can they read it and oh for fuck's sake Brenda why can't you just leave me alone with this goddamn chicken leg?I know, I know. Brenda is only making conversation and is trying to include me. She doesn't mean any harm. She is a person with a fairly developed set of social skills. But, for me, this scenario, and variations of it, are painful. Not physically, of course, but in a way that makes me want roll up like a pill bug and disappear under the...

These Days, I’m Totally Cool With Being a Goat-Eating White Trash Princess Barbie

March 12, 2018November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

If I were ranking each decade of my life, my 40s would have the top score. It's a comfortable place of knowing myself better than ever before, and full-blown adulthood is an achievement that brings rewards previously unimagined. It's a strange time of contradictions where I give fewer shits, but care more deeply. I still feel outrage and anger, but find that it isn't channeled the same way, and is focused on different targets. I'm wiser, but am still learning and pay attention to the lessons with greater awareness. I'm better equipped to know which battles to fight, and which to let go. And why.In 2003, the couple living next door began calling me "Barbie" soon after we met. I'm like a Barbie doll, they say. I shake my head, and tell them they're wrong. I love hanging out with these two women. We open the doors of our apartments and sit on the steps, the three of us drinking...

A Story About Expat Depression and How I Might Be a Wizard

January 25, 2018November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

When you move to another country, the whirlwind of emotions begins to wreak havoc before you even take the suitcase out of the closet. Anticipation. Fear. Sadness. The entire spectrum from a childlike eagerness all the way to paralyzing despair. Trading in home, friends, family, your native language, and all that is safe, comfortable, and familiar for a strange and uncertain future is scary, but exciting. Profoundly exciting. I often deal with complex emotions and challenges in one of three ways: 1) writing about them 2) completely avoiding them with chemicals and escapist entertainment 3) Googling the shit out of every aspect and detail until I fill my brain with enough information to comfort myself, or ignite a full-on freak out.In 2005, I scoured the Internets and found mountains of bullshit about what moving to Paris is like for an American. Intimidating bullshit that made me feel like a sewer rat. These blogs and sites were written by people very...