Cavorting, Chaos, Camaraderie & Cat Poo

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Just a few random bits of nothing for you all to peruse while your killing time in between the more meaningful events in your lives.I’m always begging you Americans to come to France. I’m happy to say that someone has called me on it. The Miata-driving madman, Ryan “Ponytail” O’Neill will be coming to Paris with his ever-faithful sidekick, Kyle “Brother of Ponytail” O’Neill.There will be much cavorting, chaos and camaraderie. And maybe some other stuff.Olivier’s friend Gilles is in Paris – away from his usual digs in the Emirates. Wine & Guinness were drunk as the three of us perused photos of his Iranian vacation. Just before leaving for dinner, Cat jumped up on the bench next to me & was generous enough to leave a fresh, warm poo at my side.Yes, I know – most cats bring dead things in order to display their affection. However, our cat works mainly with vomit...
Read More

Run to the Water

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Ok, boys and girls...when I'm not locked safely away in the asylum, roaming the alleys rolling bums for spare change, or passed out in an alley curled up with a trash can, I'm sucking down squeeze cheese, quaffing the sweet, sweet Guinness and spending time out among the humans a little.Well, only a little. What a waste of time that can be.The humans are odd and pesky creatures, indeed...this is what I discovered, what you may have already discovered for yourselves...Other people always know exactly what you should & shouldn't do with your life. They have an overwhelming desire to shove their wisdom down your throat. Wow...what would we do without these people? How in the hell would we live?But, really, that isn't so bad. There is another sort of human that is far worse. These are the ones that create a sensation similar to that of sandpaper on a raw nerve ending...the ones that run from living, seeing, feeling,...
Read More

French Stereotypes & Parisian Pigeonholes Vol. IV

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
1 - ALL FRENCH PEOPLE HAVE POODLESMost French people are quite fond of dogs. However, you are not going to see a bunch of high-heeled women running around with poodles everywhere you look.Surprisingly enough, there are several breeds of dog in France. I know - it's weird.What is true is that there are many dog owners in Paris. While you are out & about in the city, you will see dogs everywhere...a few larger breeds, but mostly smaller ones because the majority of these pooches are living in apartments.It's not unusual to see a dog at its master's feet in a restaurant or a shop, or trailing behind the master on the street without a leash. Maybe dogs just have more rights here as opposed to American dogs.Obviously, when you're walking in the streets, you need to watch your step.2 - FRENCH PEOPLE DON'T USE ASSWIPE - ONLY BIDETS (ASS FOUNTAINS)Wow. That would be damn cool if this were...
Read More
Why Not a Cat Walk?

Why Not a Cat Walk?

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I've noticed that when I go outside, it's nothing out of the ordinary to see people walking around with their dogs on a leash. I wonder if any of those people also have cats. Is the cat just sitting at home alone? I don't see any reason why the cat shouldn't get to go for a walk, too.  Has anyone bothered to ask the cat if he or she might like to go out for a while? What is this "just a house cat" business? Sure, I can understand not letting the cat go out alone... but what's the harm in just going for a damn walk? I think a cat could have a very nice time outside with their own leash, smelling the fresh air & checking out the scenery...They could make some new friends...Or just enjoy an open space...and they could still go climb a tree...But it would be safer, because they couldn't climb up quite so high...So, it would be...
Read More

French Stereotypes & Parisian Pigeonholes Vol. III

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
1 - FRENCH PEOPLE NEVER WORKWell, French people DO work - though, it may be a bit strange to Americans. The standard work week is 35 hours as opposed to 40. Really...what's a difference of 5 hours? When I was working a 40-hour week, I spent at least 5 hours a week not working - maybe more.Most Americans probably get around 2 weeks of vacation a year - give or take. The average French person could get somewhere around a month or two. That's not slacking - that's fucking lucky.The productivity rate in France is high even though they work less.Obviously, they do work - they'd just rather not spend their entire fucking life doing it, so get the work done & go on vacation.2 - FRENCH PEOPLE ARE ARROGANT & CONCEITEDWell, yeah - some of them. I suppose an arrogant disposition seems strange to most Americans since there aren't any people in the U.S. that are like that.3 -...
Read More

Insanity of the Recluse

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
…I can't go out there. Someone might see me. They might stand too close to me. Then what? Then it all begins all over again. It all unfolds again. The rapid heartbeat, the stomach churning perspiration, the nausea…I need a cigarette…jeezus. Wondering which words are the lies. Wondering what it might be like to be some microscopic explorer…wandering around, lurking and crawling in all of their hidden caverns…wondering what sort of magical or repulsive truth may be hidden there. Sometimes, I don't want to know. Sometimes, I don't want to explore. Sometimes, it's just better to hide…to crouch in the darkness where they can't touch me can't hurt me can't tell me any stories, no, no, no…nice and safe and I'm ok here….and I have a pen…and this brand new notebook – no one can touch me here. No one can tempt me into pretending that anything is real because I know that here in my shadows it's all real…all real and...
Read More