French Stereotypes & Parisian Pigeonholes Vol. II

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
1 - FRENCH WOMEN DON'T SHAVEI'm not really sure how or when this one got started, but it is complete bullshit. My theory is that maybe a bunch of GIs landed on the beach in 1944 & found some girls in the countryside who had happened to run out of disposable Bic razors.My husband, being a native of France, informed me: "The first time I ever saw a hairy woman was in California."Hmm...yeah...shocking.2 - YOU GET SOME KIND OF POTATO WITH EVERY MEAL, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU ORDERReally...I wish that this were true because I always like me some potato. It's more likely that you'll be served some sort of bread, but even that isn't always the case.Interestingly enough, I have observed that some French people do seem to have an inexplicable phobia in regard to eating the skin of a potato.3 - ALL FRENCH PEOPLE SMOKENope, not all French people smoke. However, a damn lot of them do &...
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French Stereotypes & Parisian Pigeonholes Vol. I

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
1 - ALL FRENCH PEOPLE ARE RUDEJust imagine this scenario: your city is flooded with tourists every damn day of every damn year. They approach you & yap at you, just assuming that you speak their language. What do you do?If French people (especially Parisians) come across as being rude, maybe it's just because they get a little bored with a bunch of silly American tourists approaching them as though they were employees in an amusement park.One more thing: Americans are a smiley group of people - we smile at each other even if we might not be feeling that smile deep down. We also have a tendency to chat with strangers for no reason. Most French people aren't walking around grinning & chatting with each other & with tourists - especially in Paris. It's not really rudeness...it's just the way it is.2 - FRENCH PEOPLE SMELL LIKE BUTT & B.O.In general, French people do not have funk; they shower...
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The France That Americans May or May Not Know

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Recently, I was asked if there were any strange things about the French, or about living in Paris. Of course, the answer was, "Well, uh...yeah".Many people have heard things about the French or Parisians (because they are not always the same thing) that are pure myth & bullshit...other things are very true & then there are still several other things that most Americans might never have thought of.Just to clarify things a bit, I would like to share with all of you just a few things that I have learned during the past year & a half I have spent here in Paris:1. Personal space is useless. When out in public, it is very important to push, touch, smack, poke & nudge as many people as possible. While waiting in line, ALWAYS stand very close to the person in front of you. You should be able to see the hairs on the back of their neck move each time that...
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I Don’t Know What a Writer Is

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I don't know what a writer is. I am not a writer…or, am I? It sounds strange to my ears when someone else refers to me as being a writer. I work a day job. I don't sit around at the fucking Starbucks with a laptop. I haven't made a dime from doing this, regardless of the amount of people I may have entertained with the written word. The chair that I'm sitting in came from a Village Inn restaurant. So did the other three chairs in my kitchen and the table that they stand guard around. I'm in the spare bedroom of my apartment up on the third floor, trying to block out the sounds of the people down at the swimming pool. It's after Labor Day. The sonofabitch ought to be closed now, anyway.Is this the life of a writer? A miserable wretch getting drunk in front of a computer screen, chain-smoking while they click out gibberish? I...
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“Slime, Minus the Human Form”

“Slime, Minus the Human Form”

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Of course, there are several ways that one can pass the time in a city like Paris. Museums, concerts, parks, the theater...restaurants, bars & of course, the monuments.But, there is one tourist attraction here in the city that you will definitely want to include on your itinerary should you ever make the trip to the City of Lights: the sewers.Yes! That's right! The Paris Sewers - those dark & mysterious pipes running underneath the city channeling poo, urine & all sorts of other exciting unidentifiable objects & fluids nonstop!Here is an exciting glimpse of what you'll see:I'm sure that many of you are thinking, "Well, gee...it probably smells like shit down there, doesn't it?"This is a sewer. It smells like shit. You are likely to make a funny face as an unconscious reaction to the overwhelming funk.If any of you are fans of literature, then you will of course be familiar with the Victor Hugo saga, "Les Miserables"....
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Flow In It

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
For absolutely no reason at all, I thought that I would impart to you all that life is funny, life is pain, life is beautiful and goddamit - we're really not here for very long so feel it ALL - grab a hold of it - the sickness, the joy, the sour, wretched, breaking hearts, the ecstasy, those wild, intoxicated lost weekends...and the hangovers.Life is not always laughter and bliss - even if we think it ought to be. But, no matter what it is, it's real - we're all a bunch of fucked-up fools running around in an insane circus - filled with clowns and lions and if we're lucky, a hot chick on a trapeze...Sometimes, we are right where we want to be and other times we are so filled with a discomfort and lack of contentment that our brains itch, our guts feel like they're rotting, but goddam! Isn't this life a mad and twisted pleasure...The moral...
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