Rasmenia, Author at Rasmenian Detritus – Page 6 of 42

Lessons From a Dollhouse: Longing For a Smaller Life

April 12, 2016November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

My grandfather gave me the dollhouse right about the time my brain began to form lasting memories. He'd built the entire thing himself, with his own two hands. My mother, the oldest of four children, was the first to give her parents a grandchild, so I was a big deal. My grandparents spoiled me in the usual ways, but the dollhouse held the most meaning. Within each piece of tiny furniture there existed a universe of adoration. Every small human figure and carefully cut piece of fabric, another echo of love from my grandfather to me.A few years later, my mother and I moved halfway across the country. I could only take with me a few things that would fit in the car. The dollhouse, with most of our other possessions, remained in my grandparents' garage."We'll come back for that stuff later," my mother said. "We'll rent a U-haul and move it all into our new house when we find...

Living on the Periphery of Terrible Things

November 20, 2015November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It's been a week since Hell hit Paris, and those French flag profile pics on social media are already starting to go away. They won't vanish as swiftly as they appeared. They'll decrease in number, little by little, just like those rainbows from a few months ago. Those rainbows made me happy. I enjoyed opening up my timeline and seeing the burst of color. We'd fought for equality and won. This is how we shout things from the rooftops, now. This was our happiness, translated to small, digital images.Of course, seeing some people ranting about the greatness of the Confederate flag from a rainbow profile made it clear that many didn't give a shit about (or comprehend) equality as much as they do following the photo filter herd while screeching about what they want.Yeah, I got cynical. I forced myself to focus on those I knew were genuinely shouting with pure joy, and I felt better.When the French flag filter...

London, Paris, New York… and Longmont

June 23, 2015December 1, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It all started with laughter and a longing to be somewhere else.I don't miss my hometown. I moved out of Longmont, Colorado in 1994, and never wanted to move back. For me, crossing that town line is like stepping into a dark parallel universe of bad memories. It's a time machine that only goes back to traumatic events; to people who only knew me as the juvenile delinquent offspring of a narcissistic, alcoholic mother. People who said I'd end up as nothing, popping out kids, smoking crack and ending up dead in a ditch. It's the town where a loser who nearly killed me is still frequently seen walking around on the street.I still have some very awesome friends living in Longmont, and while I almost envy their loving view of the place, I simply do not share it.My home life was not as bad or as good as it could have been, but it was difficult. It had a...

The Cure for Arachnophobia

March 9, 2015November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I sat with my friend Ed at the tiny kitchen table in my shitty apartment sipping coffee, watching the spider dangling above us. The table used to sit in a Village Inn, before it became the place where I ate ramen and drank coffee with my downstairs neighbor."Dude. Squish that thing.""Aw, we don't have to do that," he said, stepping up on a Village Inn chair. "You got a jar or glass or something?"I handed him a jar. He trapped the spider in it and offered to take it outside, but I stopped him, reaching for the jar. A weird curiosity suddenly laid eggs in my brain. I poked some holes in the lid."I've got to get rid of the arachnophobia somehow," I said.I named the fuzzy brown wolf spider Cowboy Otis. For a few months, I took him everywhere. To work. To the bar. To lunch at Souper Salad and to my weekly therapy sessions. He sat on the...

Nous Sommes Charlie

January 9, 2015January 9, 2015 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Our little house in the French countryside sits somewhere between Paris and Chartres. Barely visible from the road, it hides in the middle of several tall pine trees where squirrels, pheasants and frogs bounce around doing things that busy animals do. Upstairs, in the attic of our house and in my husband Olivier's home office are several tall stacks of newspapers.Newspapers that look like this:When I moved to Paris in 2006, Olivier had these papers stacked all around our tiny apartment in Montmarte. "What's up with these?" I'd wondered. He told me they were a satirical newspaper, which didn't surprise me at all because he and I met through our mutual love of The Onion. One of the reasons we ended up as a married couple in the first place was due to our love of mockery and funny shit.As time went on, I realized he wasn't just a fan of the newspaper. He was fucking bonkers about it. He...

Here’s Why I Won’t Be Doing Anymore Free Book Promotions on Amazon

November 4, 2014November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

A few years ago, after I published Human Detritus, I began to notice how many authors were giving away Kindle versions of their books for free on Amazon. It seemed crazy to me at the time, because writing a book is a lot of work. It's also a hell of a lot of time, sweat, ink and puking up your soul into a word processor. Self-publishing is even more work, because self-publishing means wearing more than one hat, which is a lot more weight on your skull and shoulders.It seemed insane to me to just give all of that away for free. However, it seemed like it was at least worth looking into. So, I did.What I learned was that a free promotion through Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing could increase sales in the long run. Better yet, it could greatly increase the audience. Okay, so I'd have to remove my book from all other electronic markets to give Amazon exclusive...