Flowers for Rasmenia

Flowers for Rasmenia

All right, then... it's been almost 6 months since we moved into this house and lost the luxury of a home Internet connection. Now we finally have it again and I can actually refer to an Internet connection at home as a luxury, rather than a necessity.Okay, maybe I really don't believe that. I NEED the Internet. I absolutely need an endless supply of baby animal videos and 10 different columns of nonstop gibberish on Twitter. I require endless stream of commentary on current events to keep me up-to-date and a steady torrent of jingoist YouTube videos on my Facebook news feed to remind me to be patriotic. I MUST have IMDB handy every time I'm watching a movie and can't remember where I've seen that actor's face before. I fucking NEED Wikipedia to be there every time I have the slightest question about every trivial event or mysterious fruit I happen upon in the produce section.These things are IMPORTANT.Well,...
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Mont Saint Michel

Mont Saint Michel

Not long after I moved to France, I had French friends & relatives telling me about Mont Saint Michel."Have you been?""Um... no, not yet," I'd say."Oh, it is so beautiful - you really must go."After I had been in France for about a year, Olivier & I returned from a trip to Normandy."So, did you visit Mont Saint Michel?""Er, uh... well, no... not yet.""Next time!  Next time, you must go."People kept talking about it.  Everyone that had been there agreed on one thing: this place was fucking awesome & had to be seen.  I started to feel like such lame-ass for not having seen it yet.Eventually, upon making another visit to Normandy, I got the chance.Now, on the wee tiny island of Mont Saint Michel, as you can see behind these two stunning tourists, is a tiny, uh... mountain. (Sorry, I'm from Colorado. My people tend to be snobs when it comes to what constitutes an actual mountain.) At the...
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France: The Land of Haute & Hilarious Cuisine

France: The Land of Haute & Hilarious Cuisine

When I first moved to France a little over 4 years ago, I was immediately enamored with the food.  I'm sure that's hardly a surprise.  I mean, this is the country that invented haute cuisine, chefs, bistros & the words "restaurant" & "gourmet".French dishes from various regions are known far & wide outside of France's borders: foie gras, escargot, cassoulet, bouillabaisse, crepes & croque monsieur.Everyone knows about Brie & Bleu Cheese.  Grocery stores in the U.S. sell Herbes de Provence.  Any idiot knows what a croissant is.The point is, these people are not fucking around when it comes to the food.  It's an art; it's one of life's greatest pleasures & should be enjoyed.  It isn't just a means of survival or fuel - it's a way of life.However, while America eats itself to death, it's only natural for the fat of that land to spread.  Little bits of American culture can be seen everywhere & France is no exception. ...
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The Cats, Cannonballs & Demon Babies of Lille

The Cats, Cannonballs & Demon Babies of Lille

Wow. How long has it been since I've written something on this damn site?Eh... who cares.Here's the thing: since I've spent the past month on vacation, all of my writing - until today - has been done with paper and pen.  Sometimes in rented rooms, in a tent, or in a moving car through varying degrees of inebriation, exhaustion or sickness.It's been a long, strange and tiring trip. It's also been a very cool trip. Olivier and I are still living in a bit of disarray what with all of the packing and unpacking and the bit of neglect that our house has endured while we were off running amok.We're exercising again every day, which we didn't do for a month. No, instead, we were eating everything that we normally wouldn't, on top of everything that we normally would. We're now fattened up and greasy. Exercise has once again become painful.The suffering is worth it.Like any journey, ours started at...
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Greed is Disgusting.  Gluttony is Better.

Greed is Disgusting. Gluttony is Better.

"I do like Christmas on the whole.... In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill.  But it is clumsier every year." ~E.M. ForsterIt's finally over.  The shopping, the wrapping, the unwrapping...the over the river & through the woods.  Ugh.  Finally.  Over.  It's not that I don't like Christmas...it's just that Christmas, like a great many things, annoys the living shit out of me.It's a time of year that is filled with stress like no other.  Deadlines, travel plans, added expenses & the relatives that we've managed to avoid since last year.  But the greatest annoyance of all is that greed is more apparent during the holidays than at any other time of year.  At a time of year when many of us would like to be reminded of the beauty of the human spirit, I generally end up disgusted with it.People forget what's important about getting together for the holidays.  It's not about the giving or the receiving...
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Secrets & Sexy Stirry Sticks

Secrets & Sexy Stirry Sticks

All three of us, Olivier, my mother-in-law & myself, all decided that it would have to be Thai food for lunch.  Sure, there are plenty of restaurants in the 11th arrondissement of Paris, but the Thai restaurant down the street was the only thing that would be able to satisfy us.  We had been thinking about it all morning & now we all had a strong craving.After we had been seated, we ordered our food & some drinks.  I watched people wrapped in coats & scarves as they passed by the window, moving around in different directions, none of them paying any attention to one another.The conversation between the three of us moved in & out from English to French to Frenglish, then back to English again.  I tried to follow along, but couldn't think of anything except for my nems, wondering when they would arrive.However, as soon as the waiter brought our drinks, I forgot about the nems.  The...
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