Yeah, We Know It’s Just a Freaking Car

“The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden Pond” ~Edward McDonagh"The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"It used to be something so banal, so mundane...sometimes, even an effort or a pain the ass.  Just another damn thing that you gotta do.Driving to the grocery store.It used to be so boring.  Just another everyday activity.  Well, after living in Paris for 2 years, waiting at rainy bustops, standing next to old ladies wearing too much lipstick with little dogs just begging to be kicked, after being smooshed up against & rubbed & touched by greasy strangers on the metro who reek of cheap cologne & hair product, returning to car ownership is nothing short of euphoria.Especially for a Coloradoan - we drive everywhere.  If you don't have a car in Colorado, well...your life pretty much just sucks.After 2 years...
Read More
The Megaliths of Carnac

The Megaliths of Carnac

Okay, so maybe you thought that I was all done with talking about Brittany. Well, you're wrong, because I'm not.One of the more famous locations in Bretagne is the megalithic site in Carnac, a ridiculously large collection of Neolithic menhirs, or standing stones. The legend says that the stones are a Roman legion that was turned to stone by Merlin, which is why the megaliths are standing next to one another, lined up in perfect formation.Well, that may be true, but it seems to me that if they were men turned into stone, then they would look more like men somehow. I mean, I saw Clash of the Titans and I also saw that episode of Hercules where the men from the local village were being turned to stone.I know how men look once they've been turned to stone.The truth is, the menhirs of Carnac were brought there by a menhir delivery man by the name of Obelix, as those...
Read More

Brocéliande, La Forêt de Paimpont

It turned out that there was plenty to in Brittany besides eating turkey sandwiches & boozing in a damp tent with a yowling cat.There was actually plenty of sightseeing to do.Now, for those Arthurian legend reading, medieval sword fight movie watching, painfully uncool geeky types, we were in just the right place.Since I am painfully uncool, I was actually in the perfect place to bask in my geekness.The Paimpont Forest is stuffed with a ridiculous amount of mysterious, magical, medieval Merlin fun.Before we ventured deep into the forest, we stopped to take a look at the Arbre d'Or.  (The Golden Tree).I'm sure that you're thinking that this is some type of mystical faerie magic at work, here.  But, you'd be wrong.  "The Gold of Brocéliande" is the work of a Parisian sculptor.  I know...not really as exciting, but tell me the last time that you stumbled upon something like this in the forest.  Yeah, that's what I thought.We drove a...
Read More
Tomatoes, Travel & a Change of Scenery

Tomatoes, Travel & a Change of Scenery

Wow...it's been a while since I posted anything on here.  The reason being that I'm really not that interesting.  Ok...that's bullshit.  I'm actually quite interesting, it's just that I'm fucking lazy & have lost touch with my writing mojo lately.So, what have I been up to?  Well, I've switched to a stronger deodorant.  It seems to have been a wise decision.I've also been fancying myself as quite the gardener lately.  Out on our balcony mint, basil, catnip & tomatoes are thriving.  I'll soon be adding an avocado tree & maybe even a bean that I'll grow in a Styrofoam cup.  Well, maybe I'll skip the bean project.  It's too bad that I hate tomatoes, though...I just don't see how anyone can eat those slimy, stinking things.The balcony is just one perk to moving out of Paris.  Another is the view, which has gone from this:To this:Sometimes, we can even have ridiculous amounts of wine & meat outside...So, what else have...
Read More
Créteil

Créteil

It's a good life here in France. There's plenty of great food, excellent wine, an incredible health care system, more stinky cheese than you can shake a baguette at and plenty of museums, history and culture for everyone.Of course it has some negative aspects, too. That's to be expected. Things like no Arby's, milk in a freakin' box, people eating the cross-section of a veal's head and the occasional strike or car burning.But, the worst has got to be visa renewal if you're an immigrant living in the Val-de-Marne départment.Visa renewal in Paris was a walk in the park. We made an appointment with the préfecture, waited a few minutes, then an employee actually possessing the ability to smile and be friendly processed my paperwork. I was given a date at which time I could pick up the new visa and within 15 minutes or so, the entire process was completed.This is unheard of in Créteil. Créteil is where the...
Read More
The IKEA Nesting Instinct

The IKEA Nesting Instinct

"And I wasn't the only slave to my nesting instinct. The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue." ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5"You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you." ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5~I feel as though I've committed some sort of blasphemy. I had done so well, selling, giving, and throwing away most of my material possessions - all the while, reminding myself that, "the things you own end up owning you."It was...
Read More