The French Flunch

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
During the past year & a half that I have been living in Paris, I've naturally eaten at several French restaurants. The French love food & are (rightfully so) very proud of the food here.It often seems that there is a restaurant on every street. There are places with names such as: Taillevent, Le Dôme, L'Epi Dupin, La Charcuterie & La Tour d'Argent.All of those fancy-sounding French names are typical…but what wasn't so typical & the name that came as the biggest surprise to me was: Flunch.Fucking FLUNCH?How does this sound at all appetizing? Obviously, whomever the mental giant was that came up with this one needs to be punched in the brain. It seems quite apparent to me that there are much more suitable uses for a word such as "flunch"."Damn…I just stepped in flunch." "Stop flunching my leg." "Some sick bastard just flunched all over the bathroom floor."I've decided to work this word into my vernacular. While words such as...
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No Shower = Idiot Repellant

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One thing I really cannot stand is a ringing doorbell or phone while I'm eating. The fact that she came to our door as we were sitting in front of the TV stuffing out faces got her off to a really bad start.Olivier answered the door and found her standing there. Without saying "hello" or even introducing herself, she asked him if he spoke English. He told her that he did. For some reason, she continued to speak her shitty French in a German accent.Evidently, a neighbor had told her that Olivier is a professional computer geek. She said that she was in school and needed internet access to finish... I don't know - something for school. She insisted that Olivier come to her apartment and fix her computer so that she could use another neighbor's wireless connection. It was "urgent" she said.First she said that she had internet access, then she didn't. Obviously, this person was lying. My theory...
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The Monkeys Go West

The Monkeys Go West

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
So, this past weekend, Olivier and I went to see Monkey, Journey to the West. If you have the opportunity to catch this show, I highly recommend it.The music by Damon Albarn (Blur, Gorillaz) was excellent. The animation by Jamie Hewlett (Gorillaz) was just as cool as one would expect, but the performers from China were incredible. Sword fighting, dancing and acrobats... of course, there was even a contortionist. Olivier and I were in awe throughout the entire show.Who knew that a night at the opera could be so cool?There was one small matter, though -- the entire show was in Chinese. Okay, no big deal. There were French subtitles illuminated above the stage.French?! Yeah, I got to practice my French, too. What a full night.Oh... and there are two other monkeys that will be making a trip to the west. That's right. Olivier and I will be spending Christmas in Colorado.Not only will we get to spend some time...
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The Hair of the Cat Make the Eyes Red

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Sometimes, learning a foreign language can be so easy that it just makes things more difficult.When Olivier & I had a couple of house guests here last week, I had the opportunity to play the part of translator & tour guide. This is a role that is usually filled by Olivier, but since he was at work during the day, I was left with taking the reigns. Not only was this ridiculous, but really, quite amusing.But it gave me an opportunity to practice my French out in the real world, rather than just practicing on Olivier at home during conversations about monkeys in jumpsuits & what to have for dinner.Imagine my delight when I had to enter a pharmacy to request allergy medicine for my American friend Ryan because of the fact that my cat was slowly destroying his sinuses & eyeballs. Of course, there was only one small problem: I didn't know the French word for...
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I Have Friends!

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One thing that happens when you move far, far away to a foreign country is that unfortunately, you are not going to have regular contact with friends & family.Well, at least not at the frequency that may have existed before. It's a lot of work, writing emails & letters, making phone calls...ok, so I'm not so good at making phone calls.But the good news is, once in a while, people will hop on a plane to come see you & visit the place that has become your new home.Later today, Olivier & I will be meeting my friends from Colorado, Ryan & Kyle, at Gare du Nord here in Paris. It will be their first trip to France, so we've made the necessary preparations to give them a fine lesson in French culture.The refrigerator has been stocked with a variety of stinky cheese. Sure, it smells a bit like feet when we open the door, but that's...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 5

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 3Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 41. Bottleneck the escalator. Whenever you happen to find yourself at a busy place with an escalator, be sure to hop on. Once you've reached the end of the escalator ride, step off, and then just stand there.Other passengers of the escalator will enjoy the challenge of trying to get around you or smacking into you as they attempt to jump off of the moving steps.You can also do this at any stairwell, but let's face it. It isn't as much fun without the threat of being sucked under at the escalator.This seems to be one of the most popular activities in all of Paris. No matter where you go, some fun-loving dipshit is always standing at the top or bottom of a very crowded stairwell or escalator.2. Make a kamikaze exit....
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