Brutish Behavior at Bouillon Chartier

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Olivier & I went to see the new Fantastic 4 movie this weekend. Well, only because the Silver Surfer was in it. Had it not been for him, the movie would not have been worth seeing.We left the theater & decided to have dinner before heading home for a sedentary evening. We walked a few blocks & ended up at a place called Bouillon Chartier.It sure does look quaint & French & all that, doesn't it? Well, sure it does.We get inside & the hostess leads us to our table. There are four chairs, so naturally, I pull out the chair next to me & proceed to throw my purse & sweater on it.This was not a good move.Seconds later, a tall man with white hair who resembled an angry walrus was there. He thrust my belongings at me & pushed the chair back in, mumbling something incoherently...likely cursing me & my family for...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Just in case you've missed Vol. 1 and have no idea what I'm talking about: Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1If you still have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, I can't help you there.1. Mock the tourists. This one is quite self-explanatory. Just head off to any one of the many popular tourist attractions in the city and you'll have hours of free entertainment.Generally, you will find that the Americans are often easy to spot due not only to their high volume, but also because they frequently travel in packs. While individual American tourists can be a bit boring, tourist families with cameras slung from their necks as well as maps and brochures in hand have a much higher entertainment value and typically have a higher mockability rating.Spending time in the parking lots of tourist attractions is often time well spent. Just have a seat anywhere with a good view of the large buses pulling in...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. I

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Since I've moved from the generally unknown small town of Loveland, Colorado to Paris, France, I have encountered, observed and been told about several activities that were previously unknown to me.I would like to share with all of you some of the things that I have learned should you ever want to participate in these activities yourself if you might happen to visit Paris, or any other very large and congested city that is crawling with dip shits.1. Fuck up a métro (subway/tube) station. Go to a very crowded métro station at rush hour. The bigger the clusterfuck, the better. Wait until you see a group of people approaching the exit. Push them all back so that you can enter through the exit.This is a lot more fun if you go with a group of friends, or if you have something very large to take with you like a baby stroller, a set of African drums or an enormous load...
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Free Alphabet Lessons in the Basement

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One of the most important things about moving to a new country is learning the language. Before I moved from Colorado to France, I had very little knowledge of the French language. The semester of French class I took in my sophomore year had almost vanished completely from my memory by the time I moved here when I was thirty-two.Sure…I had a few useless phrases & words. But I could only go so far on “Hello. I don’t have any diseases. Where is the bathroom thank you very much.”The good part is, the French government wants us to learn French. So much so that they’re willing to foot the bill for some French classes.The letter that they sent me provided the date & time of the class along with the address. The class was scheduled to start at 9am.I found the address – it was a church. It didn’t seem right, but...
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A Walk Among the Dead

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Every now & then, Olivier & I go running amok in Paris because of the fact that there is so much to see & do here.Most of the time, the crowds, the long lines & general presence of the humans all get on my nerves. But there is one place here in the city that I enjoy not only for its beauty, but because the majority of people that are there can't bother me because for one, I have such a deep respect for them...& for another, because they're dead.That place is a famous cemetery called Père Lachaise.While wandering among the graves here, you're bound to recognize a few names. Like the French poet, Gérard de Nerval...“The first moments of sleep are an image of death; a hazy torpor grips our thoughts and it becomes impossible for us to determine the exact instant when the ''I,'' under another form, continues the task of existence." - Gérard de NervalNot...
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Enterrement de Vie de Garçon

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
“Enterrement de vie de garçon.” Basically, this translates to “burial/funeral of the boy”. No, it doesn’t necessarily mean that someone has died – well, not literally, anyway. This is what many of us refer to as “the Bachelor Party”. Naturally, I can’t speak for all French people, but I can tell you that the traditional pre-wedding festivities for the guys here isn’t the same as it is for most American guys.Based on my observations, it seems that the bachelor celebration in France consists of a few basic factors:- Attack the groom-to-be when he least expects it, and then abduct him.- Relieve the victim of his possessions. i.e., wallet, cell phone, etc.- Dress him in ridiculous clothes – the more humiliating, the better.- Take him to a highly populated area & display him before the public.- Get extremely fucking drunk.The activities that these...
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