Expat Life – Page 9 of 18 – Rasmenian Detritus

Annoying Americans, Volume 2 – The Phrase Book is Your Friend

February 17, 2009December 17, 2009 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's really no excuse for it. Yet people do it here in Paris all of the time. I've seen them doing it & I've overheard them in restaurants, shops & cafés. Worst yet - I've been with people when they've done it.American tourists speaking English...assuming that the French person they are speaking to also speaks English.There are really only a couple of reasons why an American would come over to France without taking the time before their trip to learn a few essential phrases: laziness & arrogance.Seriously, it doesn't take much time & it isn't such an extravagant expense to pick up one of these in preparation for a trip to France.Yet, a ridiculous number of people don't fucking bother with it. The book pictured above is less than $10. I purchased the same one a few years ago. It hardly broke the bank. I was still able to afford some Taco Bell & cigarettes later that day.Don't get me...

Speaking American

February 13, 2009November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It took me a bit by surprise, the first time I heard it."You don't speak English."For fuck's sake. What was I thinking? Of all of the things that I have ever pulled out of my ass, the notion that I speak English is among the worst. Sometimes I'm such an audacious shit. Of course I don't speak English. I must be speaking...hell, I have no idea. What language is it that I speak, then?"You speak American."Oh...right. American.I had to move to France to learn this, that I speak American. Evidently, anyone who originates from the Unites States is not an English speaker. We are all American speakers.At least, this is what some of the French have told me.I have no proof, but I'm assuming this means that the Canadians are speaking "Canadian" rather than French or English & that the Brazilians are speaking "Brazilian" rather than Portuguese.To be fair, there are plenty of U.S. citizens who think that they are...

Annoying Americans, Volume 1 – Blending In

February 2, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's a strange phenomenon that occurs after living in France even for a very short time. It's a little odd, but it does happen.It doesn't take very long, but eventually, you can forget how to speak English.Now, don't get the wrong idea. Maybe what you're thinking is, "Wow...being immersed in the French language can actually push English right out of your brain?"Of course that isn't what I mean. Don't be asinine. Besides, what kind of dolt forgets their native language like that?Here's an example:One not so very interesting day, I decided to take my camera & go for a stroll through the Montmartre Cemetery. I'm all alone & searching for the grave of Degas. I'm having no luck, so I head back to entrance so that I can take a gander at the map.That's when I saw them. The four of them were wearing matching T-shirts that read "Paris", all spelled out in glitter. They were wearing their matching backpacks,...

Ketchup, Indiana & Buffalo – Hold the Eggs

January 16, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die." -Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'"Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish." -Henry Miller...It's strange the everyday things you find yourself wanting when they stop being everyday things. For the past 3 years, I've found myself wanting every single day.Cool Ranch flavor Doritos. Arby's Beef & Cheddar. Sour cream. New York style cheesecake. Welch's grape jelly that tastes like purple.You know, American food.Olivier is frequently on the look out for American grocery stores & restaurants in a never-ending effort to keep me & my food cravings under control.One of the first "American" restaurants I had tried in Paris was the Indiana Café, which claims to be a Tex-Mex restaurant.Of course,...

Greed is Disgusting. Gluttony is Better.

January 6, 2009November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"I do like Christmas on the whole.... In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year." ~E.M. ForsterIt's finally over. The shopping, the wrapping, the unwrapping...the over the river & through the woods. Ugh. Finally. Over. It's not that I don't like Christmas...it's just that Christmas, like a great many things, annoys the living shit out of me.It's a time of year that is filled with stress like no other. Deadlines, travel plans, added expenses & the relatives that we've managed to avoid since last year. But the greatest annoyance of all is that greed is more apparent during the holidays than at any other time of year. At a time of year when many of us would like to be reminded of the beauty of the human spirit, I generally end up disgusted with it.People forget what's important about getting together for the holidays. It's not about the giving or the receiving...

Secrets & Sexy Stirry Sticks

December 16, 2008February 10, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

All three of us, Olivier, my mother-in-law & myself, all decided that it would have to be Thai food for lunch. Sure, there are plenty of restaurants in the 11th arrondissement of Paris, but the Thai restaurant down the street was the only thing that would be able to satisfy us. We had been thinking about it all morning & now we all had a strong craving.After we had been seated, we ordered our food & some drinks. I watched people wrapped in coats & scarves as they passed by the window, moving around in different directions, none of them paying any attention to one another.The conversation between the three of us moved in & out from English to French to Frenglish, then back to English again. I tried to follow along, but couldn't think of anything except for my nems, wondering when they would arrive.However, as soon as the waiter brought our drinks, I forgot about the nems. The...