Cheddar, Chorizo & Corned Beef…Oh, my!

Cheddar, Chorizo & Corned Beef…Oh, my!

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"Are you sure that there isn't anywhere that we can find Cheddar?"Olivier looked up at me, rubbing his beard.  "I think the closest place is England," he said."You're hilarious," I said."Why?  What is that you want to make?""Mexican food," I said.  "I've had a craving for it ever since I moved here.  In Colorado, I could just go to a Mexican restaurant, but there is a sad shortage of Mexicans here.""Oh."  Olivier shrugged.  "Well, I'm sure that we can find some sort of substitution."That was about 2 1/2 years ago.  Since then, I've become an expert at fusion cooking.  It started with a taco salad.  No sour cream to go on top.  Instead, I had to use crème fraîche.  Since I had no grated Cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese, I had to use Cantal.We found some taco seasoning & salsa in the fancy section of the grocery store, where all of the imported food is kept, like peanut butter &...
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Annoying Americans, Volume 2 – The Phrase Book is Your Friend

Annoying Americans, Volume 2 – The Phrase Book is Your Friend

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
There's really no excuse for it.  Yet people do it here in Paris all of the time.  I've seen them doing it & I've overheard them in restaurants, shops & cafés.  Worst yet - I've been with people when they've done it.American tourists speaking English...assuming that the French person they are speaking to also speaks English.There are really only a couple of reasons why an American would come over to France without taking the time before their trip to learn a few essential phrases: laziness & arrogance.Seriously, it doesn't take much time & it isn't such an extravagant expense to pick up one of these in preparation for a trip to France.Yet, a ridiculous number of people don't fucking bother with it.  The book pictured above is less than $10.  I purchased the same one a few years ago.  It hardly broke the bank.  I was still able to afford some Taco Bell & cigarettes later that day.Don't get me...
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Speaking American

Speaking American

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
It took me a bit by surprise, the first time I heard it."You don't speak English."For fuck's sake.  What was I thinking?  Of all of the things that I have ever pulled out of my ass, the notion that I speak English is among the worst.  Sometimes I'm such an audacious shit.  Of course I don't speak English.  I must be speaking...hell, I have no idea.  What language is it that I speak, then?"You speak American."Oh...right.  American.I had to move to France to learn this, that I speak American.  Evidently, anyone who originates from the Unites States is not an English speaker.  We are all American speakers.At least, this is what some of the French have told me.I have no proof, but I'm assuming this means that the Canadians are speaking "Canadian" rather than French or English & that the Brazilians are speaking "Brazilian" rather than Portuguese.To be fair, there are plenty of U.S. citizens who think that they are...
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Ketchup, Indiana & Buffalo – Hold the Eggs

Ketchup, Indiana & Buffalo – Hold the Eggs

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die." -Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'"Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish." -Henry Miller...It's strange the everyday things you find yourself wanting when they stop being everyday things.  For the past 3 years, I've found myself wanting every single day.Cool Ranch flavor Doritos.  Arby's Beef & Cheddar.  Sour cream.  New York style cheesecake.  Welch's grape jelly that tastes like purple.You know, American food.Olivier is frequently on the look out for American grocery stores & restaurants in a never-ending effort to keep me & my food cravings under control.One of the first "American" restaurants I had tried in Paris was the Indiana Café, which claims to be a Tex-Mex restaurant.Of course,...
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So, a French, Canadian & American Super Hero Walk Into a Bar…

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Obviously, when two people are from two different countries, opposing opinions are inevitable, regardless of how compatible they may be.From time to time, I wonder why Olivier does things a certain way.  I shrug it off, deciding that it must be because he's French.  On other occasions, he shakes his head & dismisses something that I say or do, figuring that it must be "an American thing".Most of the time, those very small differences don't really amount to much.Most of the time."Iron Man was so fucking awesome."  I said.  "Incredible Hulk was just as good.  When The Avengers movie comes out, it's seriously going to rock me."  I continued scrolling with my mouse.  "It says here that they're doing Captain America next.  I can't wait."Olivier looked over my shoulder at the monitor.  "What?  Why are they doing Captain America?"I let out an irritated sigh.  "Um...yeah.  Because it'd be impossible to do The Avengers without Captain America, that's why.""I don't know." ...
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Créteil

Créteil

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
It's a good life here in France. There's plenty of great food, excellent wine, an incredible health care system, more stinky cheese than you can shake a baguette at and plenty of museums, history and culture for everyone.Of course it has some negative aspects, too. That's to be expected. Things like no Arby's, milk in a freakin' box, people eating the cross-section of a veal's head and the occasional strike or car burning.But, the worst has got to be visa renewal if you're an immigrant living in the Val-de-Marne départment.Visa renewal in Paris was a walk in the park. We made an appointment with the préfecture, waited a few minutes, then an employee actually possessing the ability to smile and be friendly processed my paperwork. I was given a date at which time I could pick up the new visa and within 15 minutes or so, the entire process was completed.This is unheard of in Créteil. Créteil is where the...
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