Here’s a Story About How to Stop Eating Bullshit

Here’s a Story About How to Stop Eating Bullshit

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Passports are amazing. In 1998, when I received my first passport, it was as though I had a golden ticket that could take me anywhere. I flipped through the pages, dreaming of all the stamps that would one day fill this little blue-covered book. I was an insecure twenty-something who graduated from high school two years late and had just been fired from my low-paying factory job. People like me didn't travel. People like me only visited far away places in books and movie screens. That's what I believed. So, it was funny that I had a round-trip ticket to London, a packed bag, and a Let's Go! guide to Britain under my arm.Other countries were an intimidating and weird magic. I wanted to experience that.During that adventure, I explored various parts of England and Scotland. I took the Eurostar to Paris. I rode the métro. I made an ass of myself. I talked with strangers, got lost, rained on,...
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You Can’t Outrun the Uncertain Future

You Can’t Outrun the Uncertain Future

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
A few months ago, life was normal. The future was uncertain, but I slept better than I do now. My husband Olivier and I were enjoying our first year of living in England. After ten years in France, it was a welcome and exciting change. We often had conversations about what the next big leap might be. Maybe back home to the States, depending on the election. Or, maybe elsewhere in the U.K., depending on how the whole Brexit thing goes. The threat of Brexit cast a shadow over everything, but it didn't feel menacing. Hell, it probably wouldn't actually happen. That'd be crazy.Then came the morning that we woke up and found ourselves living in fucking crazytown.My husband, a European working in England, had to go to work immediately afterward, all the while wondering if everyone he looked at had just voted for him to leave. Luckily, working in an office with a colorful international mix softened the blow....
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I’m Calling Bullshit on Your “Writer’s Block”

I’m Calling Bullshit on Your “Writer’s Block”

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"Writer's block? I've heard of this. This is when a writer cannot write, yes?  Then that person isn't a writer anymore.  I'm sorry, but the job is getting up in the fucking morning and writing for a living."   — Warren Ellis "There's no such thing as writer's block.  That was invented by people in California who couldn't write."  — Terry Pratchett * Here's the thing about writer's block: it's bullshit.  If someone says to me, "I have writer's block," then what I hear is: "I'm not writing".So many people believe that writer's block is real. Some even believe that it's a disease.  A disease. Sorry, you don't have a disease. Cancer is a disease. Scurvy is a disease. Your blank page is not a symptom of a medical condition. You do not have a disease. You have laziness. You have fear or insecurity. Perhaps you're out of ideas. Or, maybe you just can't write. Maybe, deep down, you don't really want to...
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Sinners, Marriage & Mockery

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
“I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints Sinners are much more fun...” -Billy Joel ◊ So there was this woman that was living in sin – yeah, you know what that means – the avoidance of matrimony, holy or otherwise, and she had the nerve to live under the same roof with a man. “I don’t know if he’s the one," she said.“I’m not ready for that,” she said.Of course the parents that she was stuck with – the ones that she never saw – didn’t approve of this one bit.“It goes against the Bible," they said.“We don’t know what to tell our friends," they said.Well, this woman just went on living her life because she knew that trying to please them was a waste of time and would only create misery for herself. She was selfish like that.She cared even less about their Bible or their friends. She was an asshole like that.“You should really think about marriage,” her stepmother...
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Créteil

Créteil

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
It's a good life here in France. There's plenty of great food, excellent wine, an incredible health care system, more stinky cheese than you can shake a baguette at and plenty of museums, history and culture for everyone.Of course it has some negative aspects, too. That's to be expected. Things like no Arby's, milk in a freakin' box, people eating the cross-section of a veal's head and the occasional strike or car burning.But, the worst has got to be visa renewal if you're an immigrant living in the Val-de-Marne départment.Visa renewal in Paris was a walk in the park. We made an appointment with the préfecture, waited a few minutes, then an employee actually possessing the ability to smile and be friendly processed my paperwork. I was given a date at which time I could pick up the new visa and within 15 minutes or so, the entire process was completed.This is unheard of in Créteil. Créteil is where the...
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No Shower = Idiot Repellant

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One thing I really cannot stand is a ringing doorbell or phone while I'm eating. The fact that she came to our door as we were sitting in front of the TV stuffing out faces got her off to a really bad start.Olivier answered the door and found her standing there. Without saying "hello" or even introducing herself, she asked him if he spoke English. He told her that he did. For some reason, she continued to speak her shitty French in a German accent.Evidently, a neighbor had told her that Olivier is a professional computer geek. She said that she was in school and needed internet access to finish... I don't know - something for school. She insisted that Olivier come to her apartment and fix her computer so that she could use another neighbor's wireless connection. It was "urgent" she said.First she said that she had internet access, then she didn't. Obviously, this person was lying. My theory...
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