expat – Page 3 of 4 – Rasmenian Detritus

Awkward Adventures in the Socialized Healthcare of France

August 30, 2012November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Before I even get started, let me warn you that if you get squeamish when it comes to chatter about doctors poking around in lady bits, then this post will not interest, amuse or inform you in any way. You'll likely be too preoccupied with all of your squeamishing to to focus on reading, so... off you go while the rest of us talk.Like a great many people, I've never cared much for going to the doctor. Any doctor. For anything. I'm not afraid of doctors, but in the past, I usually had to feel as though I were at risk of coughing up my aorta, or maybe shitting out a spleen or several yards of intestines. Even when I had broken bones, I was reluctant. I didn't mind carrying my broken wrist with my good arm if the alternative was sitting in the emergency room. A busted eye socket... well, I didn't even go to the hospital. Luckily, I...

I Don’t Live in Paris

February 3, 2012November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I live in France. I don't live in Paris. I used to live in Paris.People sometimes ask me about something going on in Paris. I can only answer with, "Um... I don't really know the details about that. I don't live in Paris."Occasionally, I'll be asked, "So, how're things in Paris?""Well, fine as far as I know. But, I can only guess because... I don't live in Paris."A little over 6 years ago, I stepped off a plane at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. Olivier was still my husband-to-be & I was not yet Madame Massoud. He fetched me & my Cat at the airport, along with all the possessions I could bring along with me.He took us home, to his apartment in Montmartre. All of you who are either already familiar with the area, or who are Francophile Amelie geeks, know that Montmartre is located in the 18th arrondissement of Paris. For the rest of you, here's a...

Misanthropic Expat Syndrome

November 19, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"Americans should never come to Europe,' she said, and tried to laugh and began to cry, 'it means they never can be happy again. What's the good of an American who isn't happy?" — James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room * "I think that something's happened to me," I said. Olivier looked over at me & creased his eyebrows. "Like what? Are you sick? Did you eat too much fiber again?" "No... I'm not feeling shitsy. It's more permanent than that, I think... & it seems to be getting worse. I think I must be developing some sort of misanthropic expat syndrome." "I think you've had that for a while." "It's getting worse," I said. "Yeah. I've noticed. It's probably not so bad," he said. "Eating too much fiber feels worse, I bet." He's right. That does feel pretty bad. Unfortunately, my misanthropic expat syndrome seems to be permanent & intensifying. Something happens after a few years of living outside...

Halloween in France

November 3, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

France, I love you, I really, do and I will always defend your honor in a bar fight, but please... leave Halloween alone. Before I moved to France, Olivier explained to me that Halloween doesn't really exist here; that a few people will dress up, or do something Halloween-like, but that it is largely an American holiday and that French people don't really give a shit about it. Okay... that's understandable. Especially since French people have their own 'Day of the Dead,' as it were. Many French people do observe the traditions that are at the origins of our Halloween. On November 1st, la Toussaint, or All Saint's Day, French people all over the country are visiting their loved ones in the cemeteries, leaving chrysanthemums on their graves. Many people have the day off from work. It is an actual holiday in France. All the more reason to leave Halloween alone. My first Halloween in France, Olivier and I were living in Paris. We...

The Science of Dry Humping

October 1, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"It seems to be that southern Europeans are just more intimate socially, whereas I like a lot of personal space - like, a mile from the nearest person is fine for me." — Peter Steele * * * As soon as Olivier and I entered the checkout line, I jumped in front of him, hiding myself from the old lady who was getting in line right behind us. "What are you doing?" he asked me. "Creating a safety buffer. This way, the person behind us in the line can't dry hump me." "Bad plan. Now I can dry hump you," he said. "That's okay. We're married. That falls under the 'acceptable' column on my list of public dry humping requirements," I said, peering over his shoulder at the geriatric menace lurking behind him. This is something that has become routine; creating a buffer zone in public whenever possible. For an American living in France, this is something that is absolutely necessary, unless you just happen to be...

Paris: Real & Surreal

August 4, 2010August 5, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There are certain places around the globe you can go to that just don't seem real. Standing before certain buildings, monuments & natural wonders can often be a very surreal experience, feeling less like a day out of real life & a lot more like being on a movie set.Or, more accurately... in an actual movie.Whenever I go to Washington D.C., it feels bizarre to me, as though I've been inserted into the middle of a news report, or some exciting action flick. I've constantly got my eyes peeled for a bad guy to come tearing through the crowd, pursued by a determined hero with a pistol in his hand. I periodically check the skies for aliens, who as we all know, only land in major cities with well-known buildings & monuments.As anyone can imagine, Paris is no different. In fact, for Americans, it's probably even more surreal. Seeing something like the Eiffel Tower for the first time is an...