It’s the Same, But Different

It’s the Same, But Different

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
About 6 or 7 years ago, before I moved to France, I was back in Colorado, talking to a friend of mine about the pen pals we had when we were in elementary school. Remember those?  Actually writing on paper with a pen, sticking a stamp on it & mailing it to another kid living in some faraway place?  Surely you must have done this at some point, no? Anyway, we were having a laugh about the silly things  we would write.  He told me that his pen pal lived in England, so he was asking questions like, "Do you drive cars to go places in England, or is different?" or, "Do you go to the grocery store to get food, or is it different?" We found this all to be hilarious, finding amusement in the things that kids say & the wacky things that kids get curious about because as adults, we of course know better.  We've seen things & met people...
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Champions of Breakfast

Champions of Breakfast

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
There are so many things that France does right.  The wine, the food & the healthcare.  The 35-hour work week & the apéritif. Some things about living in France have just been too easy to get used to.  The fact that in France, bad grammar is a worse offense than profanity just makes me feel at home.  I can no longer sit down to a meal without a glass of red wine, or go without an espresso after lunch - especially when lunch can often be around 2 hours long. So many things about life in France are - yeah, I'll say it - better than that in the United States.  But, you already knew that, right?  It's hardly a secret.  People here have longer life lines for a reason. That's not to say that I don't ever have a few complaints.  Believe me... I do.  (You knew that was coming, right?) Sometimes, it's just a matter of homesickness, or missing something from home...
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The Detritus of 2010

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S. Eliot ◊ The year of 2010 just didn't go according to plan. Then again, looking back, I can't recall a single year of my life yet that has. That'd just be spooky and weird if nothing unexpected happened. Not to mention boring, eh? For the two residents of the Rasmenian Nation, the year of 2010 began with chaos, anger and the frustration of international and cross country travel in the dead of winter. Indeed, our last days of 2009 and first few days of 2010 were spent engaged in family squabbles, re-routed Greyhound buses and bumming around airports. Oh... and I was fucking sick, choking on and snorting my own phlegm, which is just as sexy as it sounds. But, we summoned every bit of patience we had and made our way There & Back Again. So, we eventually made our...
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Misanthropic Expat Syndrome

Misanthropic Expat Syndrome

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"Americans should never come to Europe,' she said, and tried to laugh and began to cry, 'it means they never can be happy again. What's the good of an American who isn't happy?" — James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room * "I think that something's happened to me," I said.  Olivier looked over at me & creased his eyebrows. "Like what?  Are you sick?  Did you eat too much fiber again?" "No... I'm not feeling shitsy.  It's more permanent than that, I think... & it seems to be getting worse.  I think I must be developing some sort of misanthropic expat syndrome." "I think you've had that for a while." "It's getting worse," I said. "Yeah. I've noticed.  It's probably not so bad," he said. "Eating too much fiber feels worse, I bet." He's right.  That does feel pretty bad.  Unfortunately, my misanthropic expat syndrome seems to be permanent & intensifying. Something happens after a few years of living outside...
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Halloween in France

Halloween in France

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
France, I love you, I really, do and I will always defend your honor in a bar fight, but please... leave Halloween alone. Before I moved to France, Olivier explained to me that Halloween doesn't really exist here; that a few people will dress up, or do something Halloween-like, but that it is largely an American holiday and that French people don't really give a shit about it. Okay... that's understandable. Especially since French people have their own 'Day of the Dead,' as it were. Many French people do observe the traditions that are at the origins of our Halloween. On November 1st, la Toussaint, or All Saint's Day, French people all over the country are visiting their loved ones in the cemeteries, leaving chrysanthemums on their graves. Many people have the day off from work. It is an actual holiday in France. All the more reason to leave Halloween alone. My first Halloween in France, Olivier and I were living in Paris. We...
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The Science of Dry Humping

The Science of Dry Humping

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"It seems to be that southern Europeans are just more intimate socially, whereas I like a lot of personal space - like, a mile from the nearest person is fine for me." — Peter Steele * * * As soon as Olivier and I entered the checkout line, I jumped in front of him, hiding myself from the old lady who was getting in line right behind us. "What are you doing?" he asked me. "Creating a safety buffer. This way, the person behind us in the line can't dry hump me." "Bad plan. Now I can dry hump you," he said. "That's okay. We're married. That falls under the 'acceptable' column on my list of public dry humping requirements," I said, peering over his shoulder at the geriatric menace lurking behind him. This is something that has become routine; creating a buffer zone in public whenever possible. For an American living in France, this is something that is absolutely necessary, unless you just happen to be...
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