Hydra Island & the Harbor Hobo

Hydra Island & the Harbor Hobo

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
The first problem we had was finding our boat. We found the harbor. We had two tickets to Hydra island, but couldn't find any information on which boat was which and what went where. We found a crusty old sailor who mumbled something at us in Greek and waved us away.We walked a bit farther along the harbor and came across a friendly old guy with white hair, big white eyebrows and skin like rawhide. He offered to help, took a look at our tickets and showed us which boat to take. When he picked up on Olivier's French accent, he switched from English to French."French is better," he said. "It makes more sense, the grammar. Je mange, tu manges, nous mangeons... okay. That's grammar. English has no grammar. The dogs you see here in the streets, even they speak English." We had a laugh and chatted for a few minutes. "The boat will be here soon." He pointed to...
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13 Hilarious French Intros for American TV Shows

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
1. The Dukes of Hazzard French Title: Shérif, fais-moi peur! Literal Translation: Sheriff, Frighten Me! Sample Lyric: Country Life/Is the one I have chosen/I can rip your fog/With a single guitar chord The Hilarity: Look, Waylon Jennings was just damn cool... but he wasn't ripping any fog. And what in the hell is singing this? Is that a lady's voice? Is it a dude who's been sucking on helium? A gnome? What? httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGuHQVYy9Yw&feature=related 2. The A-Team French Title: L'agence tous risques Literal Translation: The Risk Everything Agency Sample Lyric: The A-Team is really/The last chance of the moment/In danger, those kings of cool/Those travelers without a visa/Fought the good fight The Hilarity: The original intro didn't even have lyrics. Nope. None. It was an instrumental... remember? However, traveling without a visa... that isn't very funny. That is just careless. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsqp6Kpz7lE&playnext=1&list=PL95FC0BD50B6E7021 3. Starsky & Hutch French Title: Starsky et Hutch Sample Lyric: Starsky and Hutch/Starsky and Hutch/New knights with the big heart/But never afraid of anything/Starsky and Hutch/ Starsky and Hutch/Two cops laughing and dreaming...
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Halloween in France

Halloween in France

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
France, I love you, I really, do and I will always defend your honor in a bar fight, but please... leave Halloween alone. Before I moved to France, Olivier explained to me that Halloween doesn't really exist here; that a few people will dress up, or do something Halloween-like, but that it is largely an American holiday and that French people don't really give a shit about it. Okay... that's understandable. Especially since French people have their own 'Day of the Dead,' as it were. Many French people do observe the traditions that are at the origins of our Halloween. On November 1st, la Toussaint, or All Saint's Day, French people all over the country are visiting their loved ones in the cemeteries, leaving chrysanthemums on their graves. Many people have the day off from work. It is an actual holiday in France. All the more reason to leave Halloween alone. My first Halloween in France, Olivier and I were living in Paris. We...
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The Science of Dry Humping

The Science of Dry Humping

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"It seems to be that southern Europeans are just more intimate socially, whereas I like a lot of personal space - like, a mile from the nearest person is fine for me." — Peter Steele * * * As soon as Olivier and I entered the checkout line, I jumped in front of him, hiding myself from the old lady who was getting in line right behind us. "What are you doing?" he asked me. "Creating a safety buffer. This way, the person behind us in the line can't dry hump me." "Bad plan. Now I can dry hump you," he said. "That's okay. We're married. That falls under the 'acceptable' column on my list of public dry humping requirements," I said, peering over his shoulder at the geriatric menace lurking behind him. This is something that has become routine; creating a buffer zone in public whenever possible. For an American living in France, this is something that is absolutely necessary, unless you just happen to be...
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Paris: Real & Surreal

Paris: Real & Surreal

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
There are certain places around the globe you can go to that just don't seem real.  Standing before certain buildings, monuments & natural wonders can often be a very surreal experience, feeling less like a day out of real life & a lot more like being on a movie set.Or, more accurately... in an actual movie.Whenever I go to Washington D.C., it feels bizarre to me, as though I've been inserted into the middle of a news report, or some exciting action flick.  I've constantly got my eyes peeled for a bad guy to come tearing through the crowd, pursued by a determined hero with a pistol in his hand.  I periodically check the skies for aliens, who as we all know, only land in major cities with well-known buildings & monuments.As anyone can imagine, Paris is no different.  In fact, for Americans, it's probably even more surreal.  Seeing something like the Eiffel Tower for the first time is an...
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French Haters: Your Ignorance is Showing

French Haters: Your Ignorance is Showing

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
So... a Frenchman walks into a bar. No, wait... how many Frenchmen does it take to... wait, no. Have you heard the one about the French guy who -Seriously... shut the fuck up.It's no secret that I've got a lot of pet peeves. People are constantly grating on my nerves. I simply do not have a lot of patience where people are concerned.  Usually, the stupid things they say & do are mildly irritating, easily ignored. Some may piss me off... then there are the other acts of stupidity & running off at the mouth that I absolutely cannot abide.Racist & sexist jokes are a good example.I'm not talking about politically incorrect humor. I'm not referring to friendly jabs & charicatures.  I'm talking about cruel & malicious jokes that are not even intended to be funny. Ignorant & historically inaccurate babble designed to be rude & bigoted without even trace amounts of humor.What's worse is to tell these asinine "jokes"...
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