Paris: Real & Surreal

Paris: Real & Surreal

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
There are certain places around the globe you can go to that just don't seem real.  Standing before certain buildings, monuments & natural wonders can often be a very surreal experience, feeling less like a day out of real life & a lot more like being on a movie set.Or, more accurately... in an actual movie.Whenever I go to Washington D.C., it feels bizarre to me, as though I've been inserted into the middle of a news report, or some exciting action flick.  I've constantly got my eyes peeled for a bad guy to come tearing through the crowd, pursued by a determined hero with a pistol in his hand.  I periodically check the skies for aliens, who as we all know, only land in major cities with well-known buildings & monuments.As anyone can imagine, Paris is no different.  In fact, for Americans, it's probably even more surreal.  Seeing something like the Eiffel Tower for the first time is an...
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Becoming a Germaphobe

Becoming a Germaphobe

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I used to laugh at germaphobic freaks like me.  I'd see them with their Lysol, alcohol pads & sanitizing gel, talking about "that bug that's been going around" & I would shake my head & laugh.Paranoid freaks.Sitting at my desk, in the office where I worked, I'd watch my coworkers as they passed around a can of Lysol.  "Keep that shit away from me," I'd tell them.  When someone would offer me an alcohol pad to wipe the germs away from the receiver of my phone, I would reply with a "thanks, but I like my phone dirty".I was a drinking, pack-a-day smoker, happily surrounded by millions of dirty microscopic organisms & I enjoyed watching my coworkers sniff, sneeze & hack among the sound of misting Lysol.Not because I'm that sadistic, but because I never got sick.Then I moved to Paris.Once I moved to Paris, I moved about the city the same way as millions of other Parisians: public transportation. ...
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Leaving for Paris

Leaving for Paris

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Four years ago, I was in the midst of disassembling my life in Colorado. This is the only way to build a new one. There in my apartment, which was rapidly becoming a large empty space, I stared at the packed boxes. There were more and more of them every day.There were times when the packing and planning was exhausting. It was easier to chain smoke in the dark with several pints of Guinness and a blank page while listening to Rufus Wainwright. Of course, one song that I played over and over again was "Leaving for Paris."httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djpWPhv1tPU&feature=PlayList&p=6FD35315AB3D3572&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1It seemed so appropriate since that is exactly what I was doing. It had occurred to me that I might actually be out of my goddamn mind. Then again, this thought has crossed my mind several times throughout my life and has never really been a point of major concern. But, packing up my life to move to another country to marry a man who I...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 4

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 31. Play sidewalk cock block. This can be done anytime: while out running errands, sight seeing, or anytime you have nothing better to do.Simply walk on any street in the city, and as soon as you sense someone walking behind you, stop moving. Just as the person tries to pass you, begin moving again.Remember, the object of the game is to never, ever let anyone pass you. You want to absolutely hinder any progress that they may have been making to get from A to B.Sidewalk cock block is most challenging when played as a solo activity, but can be much more entertaining when played with a group of your friends. You can take up the entire width of the pavement, creating a more effective and unnerving obstacle!2. Perform a chunky suicide. All you have to do for this one is head...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 3

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Just in case you've missed the first 2 weeks of class:Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1 Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 21. Go bus seat wrestling. This is a good way to pass the time on any city bus as you make your way to your destination.Just stand in the bus and wait for some poor sucker to walk over to an empty seat and place your body between the person and the seat. If they seem to be ignoring you, they're most likely faking. That's just how the game is played. Give them a little nudge to let them know: game on!To make this more fun, start jabbering nonsensical sentence fragments at your opponent in a foreign language. When you see the expression of helpless confusion on their face, give them a good shove.2. Sell black market cigarettes. All you have to do is buy cheap cigarettes in another country, smuggle them across the border and then stand...
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