Paris – Page 5 of 8 – Rasmenian Detritus

International Internet Dating: Poop, Pajamas and Paris

March 25, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It was about 5 years ago. I was sitting in my apartment, writing in the dark, chain-smoking and getting drunk. I wasn't lonely, but I was. I had recently been dumped. Part of me was pissed. Part of me didn't give a shit. Another part of me wanted to be alone. Another part of me didn't.I briefly tried dating. I sucked at it. I wasn't into it. Asshole that I am, I sometimes didn't even show up for a date.Those online personal ads and dating sites kind of freaked me out. Sifting through people from the intoxicated comfort of my own home was somewhat appealing. I didn't have to sober up or bother with changing out of my dirty pajamas with the food stains running down the front.The problem was - I don't know if you've noticed - but there’s a lot of goddamn freaks on those sites. Sure, you might meet a normal one, but for every regular person...

Annoying Americans, Volume 3 – Ordering Food

March 17, 2009November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Ok, so imagine this: a group of people that you don't know come over to your house for dinner. They don't speak your language very well - they expect you, as the host, to comprehend everything that they say. They point & pantomime, occasionally spitting out a few words that you can understand.This group of strangers gag when they see the food that you set before them. They balk in their foreign tongue & ask for other food items that you've never heard of, as those things exist only in their country.They're obnoxious, rude & don't understand what the problem is.Of course, the problem could be that they're naturally assholian, but it's more likely that they're just ignorant.Which is worse? Um... does it matter?I've seen this happen here in Paris. It's fucking painful to watch. American tourists in restaurants & cafés who haven't the slightest clue about ordering food in France. To be fair, it can be confusing. However, I've...

Annoying Americans, Volume 2 – The Phrase Book is Your Friend

February 17, 2009December 17, 2009 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's really no excuse for it. Yet people do it here in Paris all of the time. I've seen them doing it & I've overheard them in restaurants, shops & cafés. Worst yet - I've been with people when they've done it.American tourists speaking English...assuming that the French person they are speaking to also speaks English.There are really only a couple of reasons why an American would come over to France without taking the time before their trip to learn a few essential phrases: laziness & arrogance.Seriously, it doesn't take much time & it isn't such an extravagant expense to pick up one of these in preparation for a trip to France.Yet, a ridiculous number of people don't fucking bother with it. The book pictured above is less than $10. I purchased the same one a few years ago. It hardly broke the bank. I was still able to afford some Taco Bell & cigarettes later that day.Don't get me...

Ketchup, Indiana & Buffalo – Hold the Eggs

January 16, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die." -Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'"Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish." -Henry Miller...It's strange the everyday things you find yourself wanting when they stop being everyday things. For the past 3 years, I've found myself wanting every single day.Cool Ranch flavor Doritos. Arby's Beef & Cheddar. Sour cream. New York style cheesecake. Welch's grape jelly that tastes like purple.You know, American food.Olivier is frequently on the look out for American grocery stores & restaurants in a never-ending effort to keep me & my food cravings under control.One of the first "American" restaurants I had tried in Paris was the Indiana Café, which claims to be a Tex-Mex restaurant.Of course,...

Secrets & Sexy Stirry Sticks

December 16, 2008February 10, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

All three of us, Olivier, my mother-in-law & myself, all decided that it would have to be Thai food for lunch. Sure, there are plenty of restaurants in the 11th arrondissement of Paris, but the Thai restaurant down the street was the only thing that would be able to satisfy us. We had been thinking about it all morning & now we all had a strong craving.After we had been seated, we ordered our food & some drinks. I watched people wrapped in coats & scarves as they passed by the window, moving around in different directions, none of them paying any attention to one another.The conversation between the three of us moved in & out from English to French to Frenglish, then back to English again. I tried to follow along, but couldn't think of anything except for my nems, wondering when they would arrive.However, as soon as the waiter brought our drinks, I forgot about the nems. The...

A Town Like Paris

May 8, 2008April 2, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Author Bryce Corbett – wait a minute. I hesitate to even use the word “author” here. These days it seems like any jackass who can sit himself upright behind a keyboard likes to refer to himself or herself as an “author”.I wouldn’t refer to Corbett as an author – more like a blogger gone pro. Each chapter of “A Town Like Paris” reads like a long-winded blog entry, riddled with references to his friends & outings as if the reader actually cared enough to keep track of Corbett’s lifeless & bland ancillary characters.“A Town Like Paris” is an attempt at telling the story of an Australian expat living in Paris. While I am an American living expat living in France who spent more than two years living in Paris, I wondered with each turn of the page where in the hell Corbett’s Paris could be located on the map, because I had never seen the place.The...