Whatever. It Still Beats American Football.

Whatever. It Still Beats American Football.

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Olivier & I arrived at the stadium & found our seats. Moments later, we were blinded by a pink flurry...a pink Cadillac did laps around the field, streaming pink feather boas. The shitty 80's disco music was deafening & asses were shaking it as far as the eye could see.No...it wasn't a gay pride rally. It was a rugby game. Yes, I'm serious.I was hypnotized. I stared in awe & wonder as I watched the pink Caddy filled with dancing girls. For a moment, I had forgotten that I was waiting for a rugby game to start.Of course, the game couldn't actually begin until a giant, golden rugby ball was wheeled onto the field. Try to imagine my sense of amazement as the gilded ball slowly opened to reveal another feather-clad Moulin Rouge girl hidden inside. Just try to imagine it - I bet you can't, though.After she had completely hatched, the...
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Thankful for Pre-Packaged American Goodness

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Last year, Olivier & I flew back to Colorado for Thanksgiving. This year, we decided that we would spend Christmas & New Year's in the U.S. & would spend Thanksgiving in France.What I always find amusing is the Americans who think that there is Thanksgiving in France. When someone asks me, "So...is there a Thanksgiving in France?" or, "What do they do for Thanksgiving in France?" I have the urge to throw books at them for being so ignorant of the history of their holidays.Yeah...American holiday. Look into it.But, I digress.Funny enough, there is Thanksgiving in Paris - among the community of Yanks that are living here. Several restaurants offer a Thanksgiving dinner as long as you've made reservations well in advance.But...I just can't do it. Really, I don't see anything wrong with eating a holiday dinner in a restaurant, but it's bad enough that my mother isn't cooking the food. I'd rather not be fed my holiday meal by...
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The French Flunch

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
During the past year & a half that I have been living in Paris, I've naturally eaten at several French restaurants. The French love food & are (rightfully so) very proud of the food here.It often seems that there is a restaurant on every street. There are places with names such as: Taillevent, Le Dôme, L'Epi Dupin, La Charcuterie & La Tour d'Argent.All of those fancy-sounding French names are typical…but what wasn't so typical & the name that came as the biggest surprise to me was: Flunch.Fucking FLUNCH?How does this sound at all appetizing? Obviously, whomever the mental giant was that came up with this one needs to be punched in the brain. It seems quite apparent to me that there are much more suitable uses for a word such as "flunch"."Damn…I just stepped in flunch." "Stop flunching my leg." "Some sick bastard just flunched all over the bathroom floor."I've decided to work this word into my vernacular. While words such as...
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No Shower = Idiot Repellant

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One thing I really cannot stand is a ringing doorbell or phone while I'm eating. The fact that she came to our door as we were sitting in front of the TV stuffing out faces got her off to a really bad start.Olivier answered the door and found her standing there. Without saying "hello" or even introducing herself, she asked him if he spoke English. He told her that he did. For some reason, she continued to speak her shitty French in a German accent.Evidently, a neighbor had told her that Olivier is a professional computer geek. She said that she was in school and needed internet access to finish... I don't know - something for school. She insisted that Olivier come to her apartment and fix her computer so that she could use another neighbor's wireless connection. It was "urgent" she said.First she said that she had internet access, then she didn't. Obviously, this person was lying. My theory...
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The Monkeys Go West

The Monkeys Go West

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
So, this past weekend, Olivier and I went to see Monkey, Journey to the West. If you have the opportunity to catch this show, I highly recommend it.The music by Damon Albarn (Blur, Gorillaz) was excellent. The animation by Jamie Hewlett (Gorillaz) was just as cool as one would expect, but the performers from China were incredible. Sword fighting, dancing and acrobats... of course, there was even a contortionist. Olivier and I were in awe throughout the entire show.Who knew that a night at the opera could be so cool?There was one small matter, though -- the entire show was in Chinese. Okay, no big deal. There were French subtitles illuminated above the stage.French?! Yeah, I got to practice my French, too. What a full night.Oh... and there are two other monkeys that will be making a trip to the west. That's right. Olivier and I will be spending Christmas in Colorado.Not only will we get to spend some time...
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Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 5

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 3Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 41. Bottleneck the escalator. Whenever you happen to find yourself at a busy place with an escalator, be sure to hop on. Once you've reached the end of the escalator ride, step off, and then just stand there.Other passengers of the escalator will enjoy the challenge of trying to get around you or smacking into you as they attempt to jump off of the moving steps.You can also do this at any stairwell, but let's face it. It isn't as much fun without the threat of being sucked under at the escalator.This seems to be one of the most popular activities in all of Paris. No matter where you go, some fun-loving dipshit is always standing at the top or bottom of a very crowded stairwell or escalator.2. Make a kamikaze exit....
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