Boobs Are Cool. Bras Are Dumb.

Boobs Are Cool. Bras Are Dumb.

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Earlier this year, a French doctor announced that women are better off without bras. Now, I know some women are quite fond of their bras, or feel the need for a bra. Cool. Keep on rockin' the harness, ladies.However, I read the article and said, "Well, no shit. Bras are stupid."I have always hated bras. I feel stiff and restrained. Tied down. Strapped. Saddled. Shackled. I scratch and claw, twisting and reaching, trying to bite at it - much like my cat when someone is foolish enough to put a collar around her neck.That said, I'm going to tell you that there is one benefit to binding your boobs.When you move to France, there's a whole laundry list of things that a person must do in order to obtain their carte de séjour (their residency card). One of those things is to get a chest x-ray to make sure you don't have tuberculosis. So, back in 2006 when I was...
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The Unintentional Comedy of French Movie Titles

The Unintentional Comedy of French Movie Titles

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
It recently occurred to me that I haven't made fun of any French weirdness in quite a while. I mean, it's been like, 2 whole blog posts ago. It's not that I'd stopped noticing, having grown accustomed & become part of the weirdness. Okay, okay... I may have become a wee part of the weirdness, but that doesn't mean I don't take notice of it.One thing that has been a constantly baffling source of amusement here is the French titles for American movies. This isn't something confounding only to Americans, either. There are plenty of savvy French movie goers who understand the absurdity & hilarity of the French titles, but those bizarre titles keep showing up, anyway.It often seems that there is no rhyme or reason to it. After seeing countless movie posters, TV spots & theater signs, there is no discernible pattern to this madness. Believe me, I've tried to make sense of it. I can't do it.Sometimes, they...
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Hydra Island & the Harbor Hobo

Hydra Island & the Harbor Hobo

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
The first problem we had was finding our boat. We found the harbor. We had two tickets to Hydra island, but couldn't find any information on which boat was which and what went where. We found a crusty old sailor who mumbled something at us in Greek and waved us away.We walked a bit farther along the harbor and came across a friendly old guy with white hair, big white eyebrows and skin like rawhide. He offered to help, took a look at our tickets and showed us which boat to take. When he picked up on Olivier's French accent, he switched from English to French."French is better," he said. "It makes more sense, the grammar. Je mange, tu manges, nous mangeons... okay. That's grammar. English has no grammar. The dogs you see here in the streets, even they speak English." We had a laugh and chatted for a few minutes. "The boat will be here soon." He pointed to...
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House Hunting, Humidity & Humiliation

House Hunting, Humidity & Humiliation

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"Never make a decision when you need to pee."  -Leonard Cohen * The GPS on the dashboard said we were still 20 minutes away from Épernon. This Saturday morning was the fourth Saturday morning in a row in which Olivier and I had woken at 6am to make the hour-long drive to Épernon or Rambouillet. Maybe it was the fifth Saturday. I've lost track. Four or five Saturdays in a row. Rising early. Spending the day in our car, or in the car of another real estate agent. We've met five of those, now. Or maybe six. I don't remember. Don't ask me how many houses we've wandered in and out of in an effort to find one that we can fall in love with. I'd say about twenty. Twenty houses. Maybe thirty.  I can't recall. Anyway... where was I? Oh, right. The dashboard. The GPS. 20 minutes. I looked over at Olivier. "Um... I have to pee," I said. "Didn't you just go before we left the house?" "Yeah.  But that...
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It’s the Same, But Different

It’s the Same, But Different

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
About 6 or 7 years ago, before I moved to France, I was back in Colorado, talking to a friend of mine about the pen pals we had when we were in elementary school. Remember those?  Actually writing on paper with a pen, sticking a stamp on it & mailing it to another kid living in some faraway place?  Surely you must have done this at some point, no? Anyway, we were having a laugh about the silly things  we would write.  He told me that his pen pal lived in England, so he was asking questions like, "Do you drive cars to go places in England, or is different?" or, "Do you go to the grocery store to get food, or is it different?" We found this all to be hilarious, finding amusement in the things that kids say & the wacky things that kids get curious about because as adults, we of course know better.  We've seen things & met people...
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