weirdos

Stories, Meat Sacks and Pagliacci Suspenders

August 25, 2014October 5, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

“What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.” -Patch Adams * * *I used to have a really cool pair of suspenders. I wore them whenever I had the chance and along with my Wonder Woman Underoos, they were probably one of the most special items in my wardrobe. Maybe, if you were a kid in the late 70s, you had the same pair.If you did have a pair, or even if you didn't, you probably knew why some of those weird kids were into rocking the rainbow suspenders.Because Mork rocked the rainbow suspenders. And Mork was awesome.In 1982, the year that Mork and Mindy came to an end, my mother and...

There & Back Again, Part 4 – Bathrooms, Burritos & Beheadings

February 10, 2010February 10, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

So, there we were, a frozen December night in Tulsa, with our faces pressed against the cold, dirty glass, staring at our empty bus. The Greyhound station was small. The movies had gotten worse - instead of Billy Bob Thornton, we were now trying to avoid looking at the screen as an estrogen-soaked Lifetime movie cackled in the background.Olivier & I went outside while I shivered & cursed. The Greyhound employee inside had informed us that we would be stranded until 3:30am, when the next bus for Amarillo, TX was due to arrive. If we could get a seat on that bus. We tried to come up with some sort of plan to get ourselves out of Tulsa. What we came up with was... jack shit.We went back inside & ran into the kid with the Hari Krishna hair. "I saw a bar down the street," he said. "I really like beer. I make my own brews at home."Olivier &...

There & Back Again, Part 3 – Screw Me in St. Louis

January 27, 2010January 29, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

When Olivier & I arrived at the Greyhound station in Erie, PA, we were giddy. It was 3pm on Saturday, the day after Christmas. We'd had a big pile of Arby's earlier that day, so I had gotten my fix after craving their delicious, cheddary slop for the past 2 years. We were leaving behind the stress of a Festivus gone bad & were looking forward to a week at home in Colorado.We had our bus tickets, 200 lbs. of luggage & a box of chocolate donuts. We were ready to voyage across the country for the next day & a half. We would have to change buses several times, but still... it was only a day & a half.A day & a half. No sweat.The first thing that we figured out was that there was no dicking around when it was time to board the bus. If you're traveling with someone, it's next to impossible to find 2 seats...

Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 3

August 20, 2007December 1, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Just in case you've missed the first 2 weeks of class:Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1 Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 21. Go bus seat wrestling. This is a good way to pass the time on any city bus as you make your way to your destination.Just stand in the bus and wait for some poor sucker to walk over to an empty seat and place your body between the person and the seat. If they seem to be ignoring you, they're most likely faking. That's just how the game is played. Give them a little nudge to let them know: game on!To make this more fun, start jabbering nonsensical sentence fragments at your opponent in a foreign language. When you see the expression of helpless confusion on their face, give them a good shove.2. Sell black market cigarettes. All you have to do is buy cheap cigarettes in another country, smuggle them across the border and then stand...